Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Another wall of Shame Award

Imagine you have just been assaulted physically and sexually. You call the police who come and ask you lots of questions and tell you to go to the hospital and get a rape kit done. You are poked, prodded and scraped by strangers who are trying to care for you but are still strangers. You are again questioned and finally released to try to piece your life together.
First stop, a shower for hours, trying to scrub the stench off of you. Family and friends don't know how to deal with you. They innocently ask why did you go there?or why didn't fight back? or why did you trust him? They do not know the harm this secondary wounding does. Maybe you seek professional help, maybe you live in denial and fear for months.
One sunny day, you open your mail to discover a bill for your rape kit and hospital exams even though you are told that the state pays for it. All those images close back in on you, bleak, black, desolate fear. Now you have to fight the authorities and hospital for compensation, reopening old wounds, still feeling as a victim, persecuted for the crime of just being the closest female to the perp at the time he decides to take control. All the while trying to hold it together for your family. You are in such a deep depression, that this could send a fragile one over the edge. Or make others not want to come forward, allowing perps to continue to violate women.

This is not a joke. It did and does happen in Houston... as seen in this article

Makes one think... who is on the victim's side? This is why some cities have advocates who help through the process, but they are few and far between. If you want to help others, this is an area that desparately needs assistance.

What if it were your mom or your daughter?


  1. Wow, that is just wrong and yet, sadly, I am not surprised.

  2. Victim advocacy seems like such a worthwhile thing to do. We have a big push here for CASA advocates and I'm finding it more and more tempting to apply, even though I'm terrible with people.

    Thanks Cindy, for shining a light on these things...

  3. Dio, you are far stronger than you know with words I mean. I m sure you would be fine with the survivor, prolly not so much with some asshat high brass though LOL! I think the centers train you. I am too ill with doc visits and so on to get involved that way. So I must sit on the side lines poking flashlights at dirty secrets.

  4. Thanks DK... it is amazing that it is the 21st century. Wonder what happens in other big cities? Here we have an office with a victims advocate, Andy Kaplan I think. Perhaps I shall write him and see what he says. Or maybe the Mayor....hmmm

  5. So sad that society knocks you down instead of empowering you to get through it and try and have a life, we have a great RAP, Rape Advocacy Program and shelters, Iowa is one of the first states to institute laws against abuse it is a mandatory state and sometimes that is good and sometimes not. I have been on both sides, with my son and my ex and it is a tightrope to try and cross and not fall. Can't ignore it, it will not stop. You know this is a passionate subj of mine sorry so long. :)