FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. ( from my pal Linda)
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
No wonder Men are happier
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures.
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Redneck Christmas Float
I m from Texas.. what can I say.... I m only grateful that wasnt MY fiance ... drunken baterd...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Saying No
It appears everyone in the world is capable of saying "no" except me.
Need a floor scrubbed? A sofa moved ( even if I have a bad back)? Dogs fed and walked three times a day for the next month? I m your gal.
Why does it seem that others can sail through life with seeming impugnity, never worrying whether someone thinks they are not super woman who can juggle business, housework, relationships, producing, crafting and executing the art, Promoting it 2 hours a day, working shows, grocery shopping and getting the oil changed and radiator flushed in a 12 year old pick up truck whilst trying to explain to BF why I am tired. I want to be that Proverbs 31 woman....but that chick NEVER slept.
Today we finally had the show, AFTER a snow day which NEVER happens in Houston. I had to ride herd on a few people who dropped the ball on various and sundry things like adverts, fliers, getting the gates opened, paying their share, etc. I even ended up paying for lunch for most folks. HAHA... I m such a push over. It is my own fault though for not thinking all of this through and I learned a lot from this show. Next time I will require deposits for this free show and a portion will go towards ads and pizza order.
No shows equals no refunds of deposit.
I am all for supporting the arts, but the venue was benefitting from this and they did not do the ads nor tell me about it til it was almost too late. I paid for them out of my own pocket because I keep my word to the vendors. I had already done the press releases and eventlisting, but needed more promos. I bought the signs ( which had errors which was corrected less than 24 before show) No one did the decorations like they said they would...it was crazy!
BUT It was a success that we met each other, bonded and laughed and some had sales for the day. Thankfully some of us had friends and family show up for sales and moral support. I probably spent as much shopping as I did with my sales, but it was well worth it. And I am grateful to my BF and friends for making this a success even though I do not know the word NO yet LOL!
Need a floor scrubbed? A sofa moved ( even if I have a bad back)? Dogs fed and walked three times a day for the next month? I m your gal.
Why does it seem that others can sail through life with seeming impugnity, never worrying whether someone thinks they are not super woman who can juggle business, housework, relationships, producing, crafting and executing the art, Promoting it 2 hours a day, working shows, grocery shopping and getting the oil changed and radiator flushed in a 12 year old pick up truck whilst trying to explain to BF why I am tired. I want to be that Proverbs 31 woman....but that chick NEVER slept.
Today we finally had the show, AFTER a snow day which NEVER happens in Houston. I had to ride herd on a few people who dropped the ball on various and sundry things like adverts, fliers, getting the gates opened, paying their share, etc. I even ended up paying for lunch for most folks. HAHA... I m such a push over. It is my own fault though for not thinking all of this through and I learned a lot from this show. Next time I will require deposits for this free show and a portion will go towards ads and pizza order.
No shows equals no refunds of deposit.
I am all for supporting the arts, but the venue was benefitting from this and they did not do the ads nor tell me about it til it was almost too late. I paid for them out of my own pocket because I keep my word to the vendors. I had already done the press releases and eventlisting, but needed more promos. I bought the signs ( which had errors which was corrected less than 24 before show) No one did the decorations like they said they would...it was crazy!
BUT It was a success that we met each other, bonded and laughed and some had sales for the day. Thankfully some of us had friends and family show up for sales and moral support. I probably spent as much shopping as I did with my sales, but it was well worth it. And I am grateful to my BF and friends for making this a success even though I do not know the word NO yet LOL!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Fabulous Quotes
Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
- Unknown
___________________________________________________________________________
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
- a website
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
- Lou Holtz ( I need to remember this one!!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
- Unknown
___________________________________________________________________________
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
- a website
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
- Lou Holtz ( I need to remember this one!!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Is rape a Hate Crime?
Why people blame the rape victim
A victim blame bibliography
Rape is the only crime of which the victim must prove his or her innocence.
"Perhaps we can't see the victim as innocent, because by so doing we would have to admit that similar things might happen even to us. We blame the victim in order to feel more in control." Anyara
What is victim blame?
"Victim blaming is holding the victim responsible for what has happened to her/him. One way in which victim blaming is perpetuated is through rape myths. Rape myths allow us to blame the victim and are often common false beliefs."
http://www.umaine.edu/SafeCampusProject/RS.htm
Belief in a just world
Only 2% of accused rapists are convicted. In contrast FBI studies indicate that only 2% of all rape reports are false. "Low conviction rates result from insufficient evidence to prosecute, dismissal of trial due to technicalities and reluctance of victims to testify. For these reasons, low conviction rates do not imply false reporting."
One of the main theories behind victim blaming is the just world hypothesis. "Individuals that have a strong belief in a just world can have this belief challenged when they encounter a victim of random misfortune such as a rape victim. The individual wants to believe that the world is a safe, just place where people get what they deserve and deserve what they get.
Even when evidence suggests otherwise, the individual is very reluctant to give up this belief that the world is not just.
In the face of contradicting evidence, research suggests (Kleinke and Meyer, 1996) that people with a high belief in a just world will do one of two things: either they will try to eliminate the suffering of the innocent victims or else they will derogate them for their fate. Since it is impossible to reverse the crime of rape, and thus relieve the victim of her suffering, the rape victim is often subjected to derogation and blame. In this manner, the person who believes in a just world can maintain this belief as there is no longer a suffering person, but a woman who deserves her misfortune."
No one wonders what the victim of a mugging or violent murder did to deserve it. Rape is a crime of violence, power and control. No one "deserves" it.
http://www.units.muohio.edu/psybersite/justworld/interpersonal.shtml
What can you expect from a survivor?
Behaviour characteristics involved in Rape Trauma Syndrome.
http://cmsu2.cmsu.edu/public/classes/Kiger/NSVRC%20folder/18.%20Coping%20&%20Reactions.pdf paste this link into a browser
" Two main styles of emotion were shown by the victims within the first few hours after the rape: expressed and controlled. In the expressed style. the victim demonstrated such feelings as anger, fear and anxiety. They were restless during the interview, becoming tense when certain questions were asked, crying or sobbing when describing specific acts of the assailant, smiling in an anxious manner when certain issues were stated. In the controlled style, the feelings of the victim were masked or hidden, and a calm, composed or subdued affect could be noted. "
Why do rape victims feel guilty for being the victim of a crime?
The difference between guilt (meant for a perpetrator) and shame (felt by victims and confused with guilt)
An exercise from the Courage to Heal
If someone verbally or physically harasses a rape victim or survivor it may be considered a hate crime or hate speech. For immediate victim assistance call 206-350-4283 or 1 800-879-6682 24 hours a day or fill out this online hate crime report form.
"Last year the American Psychological Association issued the report Hate Crimes Today: An Age-Old Foe in Modern Dress. In the report Dr. Jack McDevitt, a criminologist, stated, "Hate crimes are message crimes. They are different from other crimes in that the offender is sending a message to members of a certain group that they are unwelcome.
Preliminary research indicates that hate crimes have more serious psychological effects than non-bias motivated crimes."
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/hatecrimes.html
The Oxford English Dictionary defines a hate crime as:
• Hate crime -orig. U.S., a crime, usually violent, motivated by hatred or intolerance of another social group, esp. on the basis of race or sexuality; crime of this type; freq. attrib. (occas. in pl.), designating legislation, etc., framed to address such crime.
• Hate speech -orig. U.S., speech expressing hatred or intolerance of other social groups, esp. on the basis of race or sexuality; hostile verbal abuse (though the term is sometimes understood to encompass written and non-verbal forms of expression).
"Fact: The incidence of false reporting of rape is about 2 percent. This is about the same as that for false reporting of other felonies (Department of Social Services). Survivors of sexual assault are often traumatized again when they report the assault or rape since the process of making a police report itself can be very difficult. This re-victimization makes the likelihood of false reporting very minimal. It is far more likely that rape is very under-reported. Some experts estimate that only 1 in 10 rapes are ever reported."
http://www.ksu.edu/counseling/csweb/topics/relationships/rape.html
A victim blame bibliography
Rape is the only crime of which the victim must prove his or her innocence.
"Perhaps we can't see the victim as innocent, because by so doing we would have to admit that similar things might happen even to us. We blame the victim in order to feel more in control." Anyara
What is victim blame?
"Victim blaming is holding the victim responsible for what has happened to her/him. One way in which victim blaming is perpetuated is through rape myths. Rape myths allow us to blame the victim and are often common false beliefs."
http://www.umaine.edu/SafeCampusProject/RS.htm
Belief in a just world
Only 2% of accused rapists are convicted. In contrast FBI studies indicate that only 2% of all rape reports are false. "Low conviction rates result from insufficient evidence to prosecute, dismissal of trial due to technicalities and reluctance of victims to testify. For these reasons, low conviction rates do not imply false reporting."
One of the main theories behind victim blaming is the just world hypothesis. "Individuals that have a strong belief in a just world can have this belief challenged when they encounter a victim of random misfortune such as a rape victim. The individual wants to believe that the world is a safe, just place where people get what they deserve and deserve what they get.
Even when evidence suggests otherwise, the individual is very reluctant to give up this belief that the world is not just.
In the face of contradicting evidence, research suggests (Kleinke and Meyer, 1996) that people with a high belief in a just world will do one of two things: either they will try to eliminate the suffering of the innocent victims or else they will derogate them for their fate. Since it is impossible to reverse the crime of rape, and thus relieve the victim of her suffering, the rape victim is often subjected to derogation and blame. In this manner, the person who believes in a just world can maintain this belief as there is no longer a suffering person, but a woman who deserves her misfortune."
No one wonders what the victim of a mugging or violent murder did to deserve it. Rape is a crime of violence, power and control. No one "deserves" it.
http://www.units.muohio.edu/psybersite/justworld/interpersonal.shtml
What can you expect from a survivor?
Behaviour characteristics involved in Rape Trauma Syndrome.
http://cmsu2.cmsu.edu/public/classes/Kiger/NSVRC%20folder/18.%20Coping%20&%20Reactions.pdf paste this link into a browser
" Two main styles of emotion were shown by the victims within the first few hours after the rape: expressed and controlled. In the expressed style. the victim demonstrated such feelings as anger, fear and anxiety. They were restless during the interview, becoming tense when certain questions were asked, crying or sobbing when describing specific acts of the assailant, smiling in an anxious manner when certain issues were stated. In the controlled style, the feelings of the victim were masked or hidden, and a calm, composed or subdued affect could be noted. "
Why do rape victims feel guilty for being the victim of a crime?
The difference between guilt (meant for a perpetrator) and shame (felt by victims and confused with guilt)
An exercise from the Courage to Heal
If someone verbally or physically harasses a rape victim or survivor it may be considered a hate crime or hate speech. For immediate victim assistance call 206-350-4283 or 1 800-879-6682 24 hours a day or fill out this online hate crime report form.
"Last year the American Psychological Association issued the report Hate Crimes Today: An Age-Old Foe in Modern Dress. In the report Dr. Jack McDevitt, a criminologist, stated, "Hate crimes are message crimes. They are different from other crimes in that the offender is sending a message to members of a certain group that they are unwelcome.
Preliminary research indicates that hate crimes have more serious psychological effects than non-bias motivated crimes."
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/hatecrimes.html
The Oxford English Dictionary defines a hate crime as:
• Hate crime -orig. U.S., a crime, usually violent, motivated by hatred or intolerance of another social group, esp. on the basis of race or sexuality; crime of this type; freq. attrib. (occas. in pl.), designating legislation, etc., framed to address such crime.
• Hate speech -orig. U.S., speech expressing hatred or intolerance of other social groups, esp. on the basis of race or sexuality; hostile verbal abuse (though the term is sometimes understood to encompass written and non-verbal forms of expression).
"Fact: The incidence of false reporting of rape is about 2 percent. This is about the same as that for false reporting of other felonies (Department of Social Services). Survivors of sexual assault are often traumatized again when they report the assault or rape since the process of making a police report itself can be very difficult. This re-victimization makes the likelihood of false reporting very minimal. It is far more likely that rape is very under-reported. Some experts estimate that only 1 in 10 rapes are ever reported."
http://www.ksu.edu/counseling/csweb/topics/relationships/rape.html
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Decoding Men's Oddball Love Signals....
( click title above to get to rest of article... ( yeah, yeah I suck at HTML.)
Decoding Men's Oddball Love Signals
His gifts are terrible. He talks when you want him to listen. His idea of a date is take-out pizza on the couch. Is this your guy's notion of affection and romance? Well, actually, yes.
WebMD Feature from "Redbook" MagazineBy Ty Wenger
Fifteen years ago, I found myself in a romantic pickle: Cheryl, a woman I had been dating for about three months, was nearing her 25th birthday. The birthday gift in any three-month-old relationship is a dicey one, and I deliberated over it for weeks. Too big too soon and it could look like I was trying too hard. Too little and I might appear indifferent. Too romantic and I'd run the risk of setting the bar too high.
And so it was with great enthusiasm that I finally unveiled the gift. It was heavy — about 8 pounds. And big — the size of a bowling ball. In fact, as Cheryl discovered after excitedly tearing off the wrapping paper, it was a bowling ball. And not just any bowling ball, but a blue, personalized bowling ball ("The Spanker," the twin to the 12-pounder I had bought myself: "The Wanker"). And the pièce de résistance: Both balls came in matching brown pleather bags.
Hoisting the ball onto her lap, Cheryl turned to me. I saw several emotions pass across her face: shock, confusion, profound disappointment, then her dawning realization that how she responded to this present — this idiotic present — might well determine the fate of our relationship. She looked down, collected her thoughts, and raised her eyes to mine. "I love it!" she lied. "Let's go bowling tonight!"
Four years later, despite the bowling ball, Cheryl consented to marry me — and we have lived happily ever after. (And, yes, we still have the balls, and the pleather bags, and we bowl about as much as we did in the first three months of our relationship, which was almost never.) In fact, it could be argued that the success of our marriage owes, in part, to that very moment. Because on that day (and many, many days thereafter) my wife made a conscious choice: to see my hapless effort at romance not as a personal affront but as a love note written by a man in his own foreign language.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
well worth the reading..... cus I feel as if I am dealing with a foreign alien at times. ( I, who got nothing for birthday or anniversary this year would love to have a bowling ball!) Read on:
__________________________________________________________________________________
So how, exactly, do we big dunderheads express our love for you? Let us count the ways.
To quote Cool Hand Luke (it's a guy thing), "What we got here is... failure to communicate" — a disconnect sown by the fact that men start lying from the moment we meet you. (Lying might be too strong a term. It's more like acting, or attempting to play the part of someone you might actually want to sleep with.) "A man is playing a role in the beginning of the relationship; so is the woman," Farrell says. "Eventually he acts more naturally — in ways that he never would on the first date — and it's hard for women not to end up feeling unappreciated."
Indeed, most guys will admit that during "the chase," we'll bend over backward to act all lovey-dovey, just the way you seem to like it. It's not as if sending flowers, cuddling on the couch, or tolerating your friends are natural acts for us. And once the chase has slowed to a crawl and we revert to our natural monosyllabic ways, your previously exceeded expectations suddenly go unmet.
As proof of this mating ritual, we offer Rob, 45, a shoe designer in Boston. "I've been married for 20 years now," he says. "And when we were first dating, I suppressed even the smallest burp. But familiarity breeds comfort, and these days I might show my love by, say, not closing the door of the bathroom while I'm using it. That's a married guy's way of saying, 'I love you so much that I'm opening up my entire world to you, even my most intimate moments.'"
---------------------------------------------------------
Uh, no thanks....
Click title above for more of the article...
Decoding Men's Oddball Love Signals
His gifts are terrible. He talks when you want him to listen. His idea of a date is take-out pizza on the couch. Is this your guy's notion of affection and romance? Well, actually, yes.
WebMD Feature from "Redbook" MagazineBy Ty Wenger
Fifteen years ago, I found myself in a romantic pickle: Cheryl, a woman I had been dating for about three months, was nearing her 25th birthday. The birthday gift in any three-month-old relationship is a dicey one, and I deliberated over it for weeks. Too big too soon and it could look like I was trying too hard. Too little and I might appear indifferent. Too romantic and I'd run the risk of setting the bar too high.
And so it was with great enthusiasm that I finally unveiled the gift. It was heavy — about 8 pounds. And big — the size of a bowling ball. In fact, as Cheryl discovered after excitedly tearing off the wrapping paper, it was a bowling ball. And not just any bowling ball, but a blue, personalized bowling ball ("The Spanker," the twin to the 12-pounder I had bought myself: "The Wanker"). And the pièce de résistance: Both balls came in matching brown pleather bags.
Hoisting the ball onto her lap, Cheryl turned to me. I saw several emotions pass across her face: shock, confusion, profound disappointment, then her dawning realization that how she responded to this present — this idiotic present — might well determine the fate of our relationship. She looked down, collected her thoughts, and raised her eyes to mine. "I love it!" she lied. "Let's go bowling tonight!"
Four years later, despite the bowling ball, Cheryl consented to marry me — and we have lived happily ever after. (And, yes, we still have the balls, and the pleather bags, and we bowl about as much as we did in the first three months of our relationship, which was almost never.) In fact, it could be argued that the success of our marriage owes, in part, to that very moment. Because on that day (and many, many days thereafter) my wife made a conscious choice: to see my hapless effort at romance not as a personal affront but as a love note written by a man in his own foreign language.
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well worth the reading..... cus I feel as if I am dealing with a foreign alien at times. ( I, who got nothing for birthday or anniversary this year would love to have a bowling ball!) Read on:
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So how, exactly, do we big dunderheads express our love for you? Let us count the ways.
To quote Cool Hand Luke (it's a guy thing), "What we got here is... failure to communicate" — a disconnect sown by the fact that men start lying from the moment we meet you. (Lying might be too strong a term. It's more like acting, or attempting to play the part of someone you might actually want to sleep with.) "A man is playing a role in the beginning of the relationship; so is the woman," Farrell says. "Eventually he acts more naturally — in ways that he never would on the first date — and it's hard for women not to end up feeling unappreciated."
Indeed, most guys will admit that during "the chase," we'll bend over backward to act all lovey-dovey, just the way you seem to like it. It's not as if sending flowers, cuddling on the couch, or tolerating your friends are natural acts for us. And once the chase has slowed to a crawl and we revert to our natural monosyllabic ways, your previously exceeded expectations suddenly go unmet.
As proof of this mating ritual, we offer Rob, 45, a shoe designer in Boston. "I've been married for 20 years now," he says. "And when we were first dating, I suppressed even the smallest burp. But familiarity breeds comfort, and these days I might show my love by, say, not closing the door of the bathroom while I'm using it. That's a married guy's way of saying, 'I love you so much that I'm opening up my entire world to you, even my most intimate moments.'"
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Uh, no thanks....
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