Bill Might make DV a felony: Knuckle dragging mouth breathers

Gee, ya think so boys? Got to wait til the third wife beating for a felony?What the Hell is wrong with the picture? Know what happens when you beat a dog within an inch of its life?? check it out. More jail tiime than humans who are abused.

Bill makes 3rd DV a felony Its 2012 and lawmakers in Wisconsin are shaving their knuckles and standing upright for the first time in centuries. Read the article for more tidbits.

Apparently it is a misdemeanor to beat the crap out of your family and you can do it often.

to quote
Tyrone Adair's worst violent act wasn't his first.

Adair, who murdered two of his children and their mothers before killing himself in the Madison area in 2009, had a history of violence.

That's what Heather Severson of Appleton, a childhood friend of one of the victims, discovered after digging into Adair's background in the wake of his terrible crimes.

Severson learned something else: People who commit certain crimes in Wisconsin, like drunken driving, can face escalating charges if they re-offend and eventually can be charged as felons. But people who commit multiple domestic violence crimes don't face similar repercussions.

"It's constantly just a slap on the wrist," Severson said.
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No pun intended...

I d like to slap more than his wrist. Authorites know from historical documentation from all over the US that violence escalates. Men who batter continue until the kill. And the more the dipshits get away with it, the more immune they think they are, the more powerful in their pea brains they become. And the more terrified and isolated the women become. She calls for help, he gets a slap on the wrist to return with more anger. What makes her think she can trust anyone anymore?

Society blames her for not leaving, not spotting it. She asks for help and the big he man police and courts do NOTHING to reprimand the guy. No prison or jail time of any penalty.

There is very little funding in few states for victims to use to run away. If she has kids she is tied to him legally in ways that make it impossible to hide.

She has not finances usually to leave, she is like a doog been beaten over the years who just cowers at a raised voice. She truly is frozen in place.

I beg of yall, get off your butts, tell your lawmakers in your states this stuff is not acceptable anymore.

Battle against Domestic Violence begins with a commitment

Click here for complete story

When I first saw the title, I thought uh oh, here we go blame the victim without understanding the abuse process.,... but this is a thoughtfully written article about where and what law enforcement and others need to do to recognize and be proactive for the survivors.

Its easy for us to call in the emergency but then hours or days or weeks later, we waver, remembering the words that are seared into our soul: You're worthless, you cant survive with out me, etc.

It is hard to leave.  Very.  and once a woman does get out, there is lots of damage and healing that needs to happen.  Read it for yourself and feel free to comment.

YWCA Domestic Violence resourcesThere are a lot of unanswered questions about the domestic violence case that led to a young mother being murdered in a City College campus bathroom. The Gonzalez case is an on-going investigation and officials are refusing to talk about it. But, no doubt, it was on everybody's mind as they talked about National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and early intervention being the key.


District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis was in attendance, so was the Chief of the County Probation Department and the mother of 2007 domestic violence murder victim Dawnna Wright. All of them hoping to make a dent into a crime out of control.
click here for the rest of the story

Domestic violence News and events Upcoming

In Ohio  Focusing on domestic violence  To bring awareness and local access, spearheaded by a couple who lost a daughter to an abusive ex boyfriend.

Center receives grant to combat domestic violence
Mary Kay Foundation makes possible center

RI domestic violence group: Ft. Hood murder resonates
DeBare added, "The apparent murder of Jessie Ann Franklin and the suicide of Sergeant Franklin resonate with the high number of domestic violence deaths we've seen in Rhode Island this year. These repeated tragedies should serve as proof that we must do more -- to provide services, to reach out to those in need, but also to change society's attitudes about abuse. Violence against women is never acceptable."

She said military families are at higher risk for family violence than the general population.

Caution: comments on this site may make one angry!

Rally against domestic violence set for Oct. 1 in Kent
for Washington State folks!
 

Few soldiers assigned to domestic violence care finish programs

I guess it has to be the macho mentality in paramilitary organizations... dunno

Pushing Back Against Domestic Violence in Nepal

worldwide issues with DV .. and this is HUGE news for a third world country to try to combat this!!

DV and Traumatic Brain Injury

As I have aged, I have come to understand with my neurologist's help, the extent of damages that repeated abuse has upon a woman's or child's body. Of course, a woman can handle a beating of any endurance far easier than a child.

The injuries I sustained 20 years ago are just now beginning to surface as real medical issues for me ( when you are 22, you think you heal quickly and forget the incident as soon as possible) I have jaw problems from punches to the left side of the head, slight fractures of the eye sockets and back problems from being thrown into walls or kicked while in a fetal position. The worst are the brain injuries. I say this, not for pity, but to reach those of you who are currently facing this very same thing, thinking that it will get better. I do understand your fear and your need to believe that you can handle this. I want to urge you to get help for any injuries that you sustain at his hands.

For today, I am going to focus only on the effects of domestic violence on the brain, regardless of age of the victim.

The link above in the title is from a tip sheet from the Brain Institute in Virgina. Family or friends of someone who has been abused should be aware of some of the symptoms of TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury).

Domestic violence assaults can cause TBI as a result of
blows to the head/face or strangulation. There may not be physical signs that a TBI has occurred; many mild injuries do not require a hospital stay, yet the effects of the injury can change someone ’ s life forever.

TBI can result in physical, cognitive and emotional
impairments.

Studies have estimated blows to the head or face occur in
50% to 90% of assaults.

A concussion, with or without a loss of consciousness, is a
symptom of a brain injury.

Signs and Symptoms of TBI
Physical, cognitive and emotional problems resulting from assault can occur immediately after an injury; however it may also take some time for any of these symptoms to appear:

Persistent headache

Confusion

Neck pain

Slowness in thinking, acting, speaking or reading

Short term memory loss

Trouble paying attention, concentrating, making
decisions, solving problems

Fatigue

Loss of balance

Blurred vision

Ringing in the ears

If someone has been involved in a domestic violence situation, the following questions may help determine if additional assistance is needed:

Was your head hit?

Was your head slammed into an object?

Were you choked, suffocated, shaken or strangled?

Did you lose consciousness?

Did you feel dazed and/or confused?

Are you having trouble concentrating, organizing or
remembering things?

Are you experiencing emotional changes such as irritability,
sadness or lack of motivation?

Are you experiencing headaches, vision and/or hearing
problems or loss of balance?National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

This material is in the public domain; please duplicate and distribute widely.



If you are currently in a situation that is violent, I urge you to read with care so you can try to be aware of injuries that can kill you or do life long, long term damage.


Some readers are unaware of what women go through that is why I do this blog and for others of you, perhaps you can feel blessed you had healthy relationships in your life and can have alot of gratitude next time something gets you down :)

Back to Education on DV

time yourself in reading this powerful poem by this special woman.....

I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.


------------------------------------
How long did it take you to read the poem?

Please divide the number of seconds it took you to read the poem by 15, then round it up to the next whole number.

Your answer represents the number of women that were abused during the time it took you to read this poem—and—one did not survive.

Help us eradicate the heinous crime of Domestic Violence. Your actions could be the difference that makes the difference.

Please, do something

from the LAPS website... a poem from Paulette Kelley. Contact this site for more assistance with your situation, or perhaps your friend's. You may save a life.
http://www.nineandahalfcouples.com/MADV2no.html

Stress, stalking, and fear

I use this blog and my business to promote and to protect battered womens rights. I donate a portion of my sales to a center and this is why I am fed up with my online stalker. She is affecting other survivors to whom I donate.

YOU don't need to be a victim of stalking to have stress... this helps all you blessed ladies too! Feel free to skip the top bio part if need be.

Many of us have known a woman who has been stalked by a crazed person. Perhaps you are one yourself who has been filled with dread at the phone ringing or cringing at the point of opening your mails. The events of this last week have brought back vivid memories for me and that is part of the reason I decided to hold my ground against this vicious person.

Some of you know a lot of my story, some only pieces. I won't go into grisly detail as it really is no different for many of us who have had the bad luck of choosing the wrong person, or maybe being born into a family where someone did not cherish and protect you as a little girl. Maybe your Daddy left you and your family with no explanation, or maybe worse.

I have had bad traumas as a child and then as a young adult made choices based on my upbringing. Trying to fix what I could not in my past. Abandonment scared me, all I ever wanted was to be loved; at 8 yrs old I would cry myself to sleep at night wanting that love.

Fixing our pasts by dating or marrying someone who is just like dear old mom or dad does not work. The abuse and beatings were foreplay for rape for some of those men. It is about power and control. Checking the odometer or the clock or your change or not allowing one to work unless he controlled the money... some of you know the drill. Mine used to lock me in the house with the burglar doors when he left. When the beatings come it is almost a relief cus you know there will be a peace but eventually, the tension builds and he hurts you again. Or maybe he kicks you while you are pregnant and you miscarry. And still I stayed. I was too afraid to leave at that point.

At first I thought that was how families were, then I began to believe that was what
I deserved, I must be doing something wrong to make him so angry, didn't he say he loved me and tried so hard to fix himself with Dr appts and all.( for a month) Oh the lies we tell ourselves! Each time I grew less in his thrall, wanting to leave but seeing no way out. When the cops are called during one fight, they tell us to keep down and send me back in for more. ( the laws were different in 1984)
STRESS AFFECTS EVERYONE
The times you escape and hide, each time he finds you , you get more paralysed. The stress does something to your brain. There is a study online here:
http://www.reduce-my-stress.com/stress-0.html you can click the title to get to the main page.

When under attack the primitive response of our brain is flight or fight. The adrenals flood your body with chemicals to prepare us for that. to quote:
to control the release of the hormone adrenalin, which in turn raises the level of tension in the muscles of the body so that they are prepared for greater physical exertion. It also makes the heart pump faster and more deeply, thus producing that uncomfortable awareness of one's heart pounding away like a hammer in one's chest. Besides these physical effects, adrenalin also stimulates our feelings of fear, anger and exhilaration.

A woman or child who has years of this stress, has many mental and physical problems from this exhaustion, anger, rage, fear, dread at the unknown, heart disease, poor decision making abilities, the inability to function in certain situations, deep depression, suicide, muscle tension, back problems and so on. The site listed above has a great deal of good information on all types of stress and how to alleviate some of it.

Many women suffer great hurts and pains at the hands of men and this follows us the rest of our lives. I so desperately do not want to be defined by what has happened to me in life, yet it has shaped me, irreparably. Later in life I was once again raped while pregnant; I lost the pregnancy when these two men did their horrid deed. However, I do not think that they thought for one minute the life sentence they had given me. I was prescribed medication and soon became addicted and slid down society's scale to a faceless nobody living on the streets after an assault and the stalker set fire to my apt. ( this is why I have asked that person to remove my name from her incessant blog but she has refused saying that I should have been more careful) She is right. I could have lived underground forever, but I run from no one any longer. God has a plan for me and I will trust in Him from now on.

No one can restore innocence or trust. Once damaged that way, you will never be the same, nor will your family, husband or boyfriend and any human relationship you will ever have. It has only been recently that I discovered a relationship that will not let me down and has healed me in many ways (not made me forget) and that is with God. Others call it their Creator, Buddha, Allah, Jehovah whoever. The point is, I had to release those men who had done such harm. Some I have forgiven ( which in the Hebrew it means to set free) And it was freeing.

I have with some and not yet with others, the pain is too fresh. But in God's time I am sure that healing will come as well. These memories have been brought back clear and focused by this stalking from this alleged woman; still working hard to pray for her but I am not finding it easy. She is taking away from my business which helps other survivors and how dare she do that?

No one has the right to stalk you, to hurt you. Please check with your state for your stalkers laws and get help from your local womens center.

DId you Know? Will you carry the message?

I know that many people, especially women are afraid to speak out for fear of looking like a victim, being ashamed, or for non victims, they are unable to face the destruction of some women's lives.

I used to think I was the walking dead. He might as well have killed me because I no longer was the same person. His blows delivered with horrible words, destroyed what little self esteem I had left. I tried to get away a few times, however the beatings were worse. I became frozen with fear, numb with desolation. And my story is repeated daily in other women. Every 12 seconds a woman in America is beaten. In the time it took you to read this, there were 3 women beaten. It is unknown how many children are effected by this crime. No child needs to see this, to be helpless, to feel powerless and to lose their innocence.

Here are some statistics to give you pause. These could be your daughter, sister, mother, friend. What can you do to help end this horrible cycle?


85-95% of all domestic violence victims are female.

Over 500,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year.

5.3 million women are abused each year.

1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women.

Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.

Too proud for a widget?

Ok, I have finally deciphered this blog thing, set it up after 5 hours of experimentation and I finally feel like a big girl. About time. I can handle tons of things; I have done so for years including being a single mom! What is it about technology that scares the tar out of people like me? Is it perhaps my age? or rather, my generation? What's a widget and why do I need to know about it?

I grew up thinking I had to do everything on my own, to never be beholden to anyone. So it kills my pride to ask for help. But everytime I do, I grow a bit more spiritually as it lessens my grip on that stupid pride thing. If I cannot ask for help here on earth, how can I ask for help from my heavenly Father? So rather than feeling "less than", I have learned today by humbling myself to ask for help, I can let go of the deadly affliction of self.

I am unsure exactly how this blog will evolve because I am constantly evolving. I design jewelry, but that has been a outgrowth of my past which has been filled with not so many great people or things, misery of my own making. Now I design and create beautiful things as a way of raising money and awareness for Domestic Violence and Rape survivors. ( and to put my kid through college)

I hope you find yourself at home here. I would love to hear from you about learning to outgrowing your pride and how you are dealing with it.