October is Domestic violence month! wohoo. Seriously.
I wrote earlier about some ideas you can do, more than wearing a crappy ribbon that no one understands or bothers to ask about.
Lets talk about the latest DV news and then maybe ppl might get motivated to write their congressman, support your local shelters for abused children and women who flee in the night with nothing. NOTHING. ( I slept outside in bushes to get away from my abuser) we didnt have shelters back then.
Heres the latest list of Abusers News...
ESPN Personality ( asshat) pleads no contest to DV
excerpt:
Levine (the attny) said that before police intervened in August, Mariotti struck his girlfriend in the face, which resulted in a visible bruise. Mariotti also grabbed and pulled his girlfriend by the hair, destroyed her personal property, and attempted to prevent her from escaping and calling police, according to Levine. Ultimately, he said, a bystander witnessed what was going on and called police.
Levine called the incident "a far cry" from the description put forth by the ESPN personality's legal camp, which described the victim as being drunk and abusive toward the sports commentator.
A nationally known sports personality, Mariotti has gained a reputation for his unsparing commentary on athletes' actions on ESPN’s "Around the Horn." He also writes for the sports website Fanhouse.com. In the past, he wrote sports columns for the Denver Post and the Chicago Sun-Times.
In connection with the incident, Los Angeles County Court Commissioner John Green agreed Thursday to dismiss the remaining six misdemeanor counts against Mariotti, which included four domestic violence-related counts, grand theft and false imprisonment.
With the plea, Mariotti avoids jail time. Instead, he was placed on three years' probation and required to perform 40 days of community labor, complete a 52-week domestic violence course and stay away from the victim.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
aint that the way... If you read the entire story, you will see where the turd says he did push her, but thats all... the court drops all the other charges of kidnapping, grand larceny and so on to these two counts. And another one gets away.
Showing posts with label DV awareness month. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DV awareness month. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Thursday, October 21, 2010
YWCA Domestic Violence resourcesThere are a lot of unanswered questions about the domestic violence case that led to a young mother being murdered in a City College campus bathroom. The Gonzalez case is an on-going investigation and officials are refusing to talk about it. But, no doubt, it was on everybody's mind as they talked about National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and early intervention being the key.
District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis was in attendance, so was the Chief of the County Probation Department and the mother of 2007 domestic violence murder victim Dawnna Wright. All of them hoping to make a dent into a crime out of control.
click here for the rest of the story
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
I challenge each of you readers to do one thing a week:
help educate by passing out flyers or ribbons
pass on information to your work place/DR departmentsTalk to someone who is in crisis or that you suspect is being hurt
volunteer at the local shelter/crisis hotlines
donate clothes to the shelter in your hometown
talk about with others, facebook it, tweet or whatever other magic you do so well.
Did you know that your old cell phones can be turned in to most dealers for DV victims so they have immediate access for 911? they dont work for anything else but emergency calls... the companies like T Mobile and Verizon have been doing this for a few years. Clean out your drawers!
Pick up pamphlets at your local centers and leave them on counters at dry cleaners, resturants, windsheilds, wherever.
Ask to put up a flyer in local stores windows.
Donate
a portion of all my jewelry sales goes to the Houston DV shelter.
Love isnt supposed to hurt. There will be more information over the next few weeks. In the meantime You can follow the collection to the left for artfire, you can plurk, tweet, blog Facebook it... or connect to this blog. Leave a comment and let us know!
So what are you going to do about it???
Monday, February 15, 2010
Men Against Domestic Violence
If any of you guys out there feel compelled to get involved, click the above link for information; or check with your local womens center to see what and how you can help.
Remember it could be your wife, daughter, sister, mom that could be a victim of violence towards women/girls. thank you.
Domestic Violence Hotline: 713-528-2121
Sexual Assault Hotline: 713-528-7273
Houston Men Against Violence
On June 15, 2005, the Houston Area Women's Center (HAWC) joined forces with Chief Harold Hurtt and the Houston Police Department (HPD) to create interest and action among Houston men in ending family violence. Community focused, this campaign includes print and broadcast Public Service Announcements in English and Spanish, a six-month series of media stories, joint efforts between HPD and HAWC to increase public outreach and presentations, and sponsored neighborhood "Chew and Chats" designed to spread the message at a personal level. This partnership serves three purposes:
1. to inform abusers that Houston women and men will no longer tolerate their abusive actions;
2. to encourage non-abusive men to mentor young boys and take an active role in promoting a violence-free community; and
3. to create community awareness of the free and confidential domestic and sexual violence services offered by the Houston Area Women's Center.
The time has come to speak out against domestic and sexual violence, and to expose it as a problem that affects both women and men. This partnership between HAWC and HPD is unique and innovative, and it shows the Houston community is committed to eliminating domestic and sexual violence in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our city.
Remember it could be your wife, daughter, sister, mom that could be a victim of violence towards women/girls. thank you.
Domestic Violence Hotline: 713-528-2121
Sexual Assault Hotline: 713-528-7273
Houston Men Against Violence
On June 15, 2005, the Houston Area Women's Center (HAWC) joined forces with Chief Harold Hurtt and the Houston Police Department (HPD) to create interest and action among Houston men in ending family violence. Community focused, this campaign includes print and broadcast Public Service Announcements in English and Spanish, a six-month series of media stories, joint efforts between HPD and HAWC to increase public outreach and presentations, and sponsored neighborhood "Chew and Chats" designed to spread the message at a personal level. This partnership serves three purposes:
1. to inform abusers that Houston women and men will no longer tolerate their abusive actions;
2. to encourage non-abusive men to mentor young boys and take an active role in promoting a violence-free community; and
3. to create community awareness of the free and confidential domestic and sexual violence services offered by the Houston Area Women's Center.
The time has come to speak out against domestic and sexual violence, and to expose it as a problem that affects both women and men. This partnership between HAWC and HPD is unique and innovative, and it shows the Houston community is committed to eliminating domestic and sexual violence in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our city.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Our past is our greatest asset
I have put this post off for months. It appears it is time to do it, although I want to say it in a way that does not sound like whining or a pity party. October is DV awareness month and I reckon my past is as valid as other's and if others can learn from my mistakes and stupid choices, then yay~!
In no way is this a poor pitiful me thing, because it is over and done with ( to a point). I am thinking aloud but also setting to rest some personal demons and taking back control of one part of my life. If this helps someone understand why women make these choices or helps someone face the truth of what they are undergoing, great.
October 3rd has been an anniversary of sorts for me, and not a nice one. For years, I have had a rough time from August to October because of assaults or issues that had happened in that time frame. Yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was time to finally see the good part of what happened. I found God at the bottom of the pit.
I was gang raped whilst pregnant. I lost the baby, I lost my mind and lost my self for years. The perpetrators were known ( one of them ) to me and was a wealthy friend of the family. I couldn't believe it. I refused to face it. I couldn't trust my own judgement. No one would believe that a rich guy like that would do something like that. I convinced myself I was just drunk and a slut. Months later, my now ex fiance, who worked at a hospital, finally asked me what the hell was going on: I was dressing in baggy clothes, wearing no make up, avoiding certain intimacies, withdrawing. I finally "confessed" to which he pointed out that he knew I didnt get drunk on two drinks... and I found out about Rohypnol. Roofies. A cheap pill ( about 5.00) that is illegal here but is easily obtained in Mexico and used for anesthesia in Mexico and other countries.
It also can only be detected in the blood stream for 24 hours, therefore if you suspect you have been drugged, get to the ER immediately and no matter how desperately you want a shower, DONT. Besides, no amount of soap and water is ever going to wash off the way you feel.
Because this guy was wealthy and a fine upstanding man of the community, it added to the confusion, pain and disbelief from family and others. At first I would tell no one of my shame. Later, they would ask me things like surely I had said or done something to bring this on. The creep had the nerve to continue to harass me at work and I would avoid him. I finally told a family member who confronted the jerk, to which he replied "but she wanted it". I had to begin convincing people I did not "hallucinate" it. My fiance thought since I did not tell the guy off and scream at him, that I must have willingly gone along with it. In fact, my ex fiance kept saying "they stole something from him" and kept pushing me for details of what they did to me so he could " take it back" by re enacting it. I was drugged so most of 8 hours of my life are gone. I dont know how many or who or if there is some horrid video out there... nothing. The two images I can remember were bad enough to live with. I dont know which is worse, knowing or imagination.
If any of you readers ever find yourself in a position where your "love " has turned into a selfish bastard, show him the door.... do not do it ease HIS pain at the sake of yours. It is worse than the first time round because your loved one is doing the same crime all over again. It is extremely important to feel safe, loved and secure after a crime like this. A survivor should be allowed to make some decisions about her life and not bullied further. She needs to be given a chance to recover.
I was sent to a psych after I finally had a breakdown, Doc put me on lots of meds and made me into a drooling zombie. I eventually went cold turkey off all of them and had a couple of suicide attempts ( incredibly selfish) The actual rape did not affect me as deeply as the triggering memories of my domestic violence abuse from 15 years earlier. This is shameful to admit, but there was a lot of stuff in my early life that was shaped by my family and the choices I made because of it. I picked bad men out of desperation for love and I settled for "less than" because of my own low self esteem. Healthy people are not attracted to sick folks just FYI :)
After the rape and loss of the baby, I was devastated. I had shoved all my memories of that time period aside to get on with life. I enrolled in school again, got pregnant and worked two jobs and attended college full time, drove myself to the hospital and drove us home afterwards.
I figured I can't change the past by wallowing in it; I had been molested as a kid and had a dad who left and a mom who drank. That is just life. Get on with it was our family motto. Bullshit. If you dont deal with things, eventually it comes back to bite ya on the ass, usually when you least expect it.
I had never really faced the abuse that I suffered at A's hands when I was 21. I remember the last time he tried to kill me, but I had forgotten the beatings so severe that I broke bones in my face, or the one where he kicked me repeatedly until I miscarried and the night he raped me again to "keep me with him forever". The mind is a stronghold to protect oneself until it is time to remember. I had neatly blocked it out for 15 years. Until the flashbacks began after this latest assault.
It has been a long 12 years since that night those men did that to me. And there are many more memories no need to scare you with or dredge up for some one to make fun of somewhere... ( yes there are some folks who like to use dirt to smear others)
The important thing is the epiphany... I had to lose everything, to get to the point of almost death from my extensive drug use ( legal and street) because I wanted never feel or think again. I had a new ex boyfriend who was breaking into my apt and raping me while I was asleep. I would wake up screaming. And no one could stop him. Cops dont like junkies too much. Eventually I would fall asleep with the lights on, knife in one hand and mace in the other. And yet he got me again. The final time he did it, I woke to him choking me until I passed out ( I assume he thought I was dead and that night someone set fire to my apartment.) All my daughter's baby books, pictures and Christmas gifts were destroyed or stolen. The taps were turned on and what wasnt destroyed by fire or smoke, was waterlogged. I truly had to lose everything to begin to hear that still voice of God. I had had so much pride I did not think I needed anyone ever to help me.... pitiful the way drugs affect the brain.
Once I was at the very end of my life, literally, I was so sick I had lost 54 pounds in 3 weeks. I was told I hadnt long to live because my liver had started shutting down. I was homeless because of the fire. I slept in the car or on the run b/c I was so paranoid. I went to Lakewood Church to ask them to help me believe because my daughter was a Christian and I wanted to see her again someday. I did not ask for healing. I had been a God hater most of my life, why would he spare me?
I spent 4.5 hours that day asking the woman counselor about why God allowed such pain, why he didnt hear my cries as a child? If He wanted my love and devotion, couldnt He have found a much better way than this? I was angry and she met me at my disbelief. She also explained other things like free will, but typical alcoholic thinker, when she said I "must have a big message and the devil is trying to distract me" my big ego bought that concept. LOL!
That was six years ago. It has been a long climb out of a pit of despair with God's hlp and guidance. But as I near the top of the cesspool of my old life, I see how far I have come and how I may find peace again. It is not easy, it is not fun to go thru therapy or nightmares or night sweats. I slept with the lights on for years. I still carry the scars of those attacks and I won't be the same. But I do now choose to see that October night as the beginning of my journey towards God;s outstretched arms.
My mom has been sober 26 years, I have 6 years. I have a restored loving relationship with my beautiful daughter. I no longer sleep in a car and I actually had a job when I was about a month sober. I eventually went from a God hater to a Youth Minister where I tried to share my past when needed with teens who were on my path. I sponsor other women in the AA program, I share with other survivors to tell them there is Hope and Help and Mercy....
But be forewarned: If you are a child of an alcoholic, you have an 85% chance of being one or marrying one ( better break that cycle before you torture your kids IMO) I hated alcohol and drunks... So I dated them instead. hmmm not a brilliant strategy for a positive life experience. I chose men who were abusive and bullies, it was not what I wanted, but I think I tried to fix what I never could fix as a kid. Please do something to help yourself and your family. If my past can teach you anything, then it has been worth the tell all...
In no way is this a poor pitiful me thing, because it is over and done with ( to a point). I am thinking aloud but also setting to rest some personal demons and taking back control of one part of my life. If this helps someone understand why women make these choices or helps someone face the truth of what they are undergoing, great.
October 3rd has been an anniversary of sorts for me, and not a nice one. For years, I have had a rough time from August to October because of assaults or issues that had happened in that time frame. Yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was time to finally see the good part of what happened. I found God at the bottom of the pit.
I was gang raped whilst pregnant. I lost the baby, I lost my mind and lost my self for years. The perpetrators were known ( one of them ) to me and was a wealthy friend of the family. I couldn't believe it. I refused to face it. I couldn't trust my own judgement. No one would believe that a rich guy like that would do something like that. I convinced myself I was just drunk and a slut. Months later, my now ex fiance, who worked at a hospital, finally asked me what the hell was going on: I was dressing in baggy clothes, wearing no make up, avoiding certain intimacies, withdrawing. I finally "confessed" to which he pointed out that he knew I didnt get drunk on two drinks... and I found out about Rohypnol. Roofies. A cheap pill ( about 5.00) that is illegal here but is easily obtained in Mexico and used for anesthesia in Mexico and other countries.
It also can only be detected in the blood stream for 24 hours, therefore if you suspect you have been drugged, get to the ER immediately and no matter how desperately you want a shower, DONT. Besides, no amount of soap and water is ever going to wash off the way you feel.
Because this guy was wealthy and a fine upstanding man of the community, it added to the confusion, pain and disbelief from family and others. At first I would tell no one of my shame. Later, they would ask me things like surely I had said or done something to bring this on. The creep had the nerve to continue to harass me at work and I would avoid him. I finally told a family member who confronted the jerk, to which he replied "but she wanted it". I had to begin convincing people I did not "hallucinate" it. My fiance thought since I did not tell the guy off and scream at him, that I must have willingly gone along with it. In fact, my ex fiance kept saying "they stole something from him" and kept pushing me for details of what they did to me so he could " take it back" by re enacting it. I was drugged so most of 8 hours of my life are gone. I dont know how many or who or if there is some horrid video out there... nothing. The two images I can remember were bad enough to live with. I dont know which is worse, knowing or imagination.
If any of you readers ever find yourself in a position where your "love " has turned into a selfish bastard, show him the door.... do not do it ease HIS pain at the sake of yours. It is worse than the first time round because your loved one is doing the same crime all over again. It is extremely important to feel safe, loved and secure after a crime like this. A survivor should be allowed to make some decisions about her life and not bullied further. She needs to be given a chance to recover.
I was sent to a psych after I finally had a breakdown, Doc put me on lots of meds and made me into a drooling zombie. I eventually went cold turkey off all of them and had a couple of suicide attempts ( incredibly selfish) The actual rape did not affect me as deeply as the triggering memories of my domestic violence abuse from 15 years earlier. This is shameful to admit, but there was a lot of stuff in my early life that was shaped by my family and the choices I made because of it. I picked bad men out of desperation for love and I settled for "less than" because of my own low self esteem. Healthy people are not attracted to sick folks just FYI :)
After the rape and loss of the baby, I was devastated. I had shoved all my memories of that time period aside to get on with life. I enrolled in school again, got pregnant and worked two jobs and attended college full time, drove myself to the hospital and drove us home afterwards.
I figured I can't change the past by wallowing in it; I had been molested as a kid and had a dad who left and a mom who drank. That is just life. Get on with it was our family motto. Bullshit. If you dont deal with things, eventually it comes back to bite ya on the ass, usually when you least expect it.
I had never really faced the abuse that I suffered at A's hands when I was 21. I remember the last time he tried to kill me, but I had forgotten the beatings so severe that I broke bones in my face, or the one where he kicked me repeatedly until I miscarried and the night he raped me again to "keep me with him forever". The mind is a stronghold to protect oneself until it is time to remember. I had neatly blocked it out for 15 years. Until the flashbacks began after this latest assault.
It has been a long 12 years since that night those men did that to me. And there are many more memories no need to scare you with or dredge up for some one to make fun of somewhere... ( yes there are some folks who like to use dirt to smear others)
The important thing is the epiphany... I had to lose everything, to get to the point of almost death from my extensive drug use ( legal and street) because I wanted never feel or think again. I had a new ex boyfriend who was breaking into my apt and raping me while I was asleep. I would wake up screaming. And no one could stop him. Cops dont like junkies too much. Eventually I would fall asleep with the lights on, knife in one hand and mace in the other. And yet he got me again. The final time he did it, I woke to him choking me until I passed out ( I assume he thought I was dead and that night someone set fire to my apartment.) All my daughter's baby books, pictures and Christmas gifts were destroyed or stolen. The taps were turned on and what wasnt destroyed by fire or smoke, was waterlogged. I truly had to lose everything to begin to hear that still voice of God. I had had so much pride I did not think I needed anyone ever to help me.... pitiful the way drugs affect the brain.
Once I was at the very end of my life, literally, I was so sick I had lost 54 pounds in 3 weeks. I was told I hadnt long to live because my liver had started shutting down. I was homeless because of the fire. I slept in the car or on the run b/c I was so paranoid. I went to Lakewood Church to ask them to help me believe because my daughter was a Christian and I wanted to see her again someday. I did not ask for healing. I had been a God hater most of my life, why would he spare me?
I spent 4.5 hours that day asking the woman counselor about why God allowed such pain, why he didnt hear my cries as a child? If He wanted my love and devotion, couldnt He have found a much better way than this? I was angry and she met me at my disbelief. She also explained other things like free will, but typical alcoholic thinker, when she said I "must have a big message and the devil is trying to distract me" my big ego bought that concept. LOL!
That was six years ago. It has been a long climb out of a pit of despair with God's hlp and guidance. But as I near the top of the cesspool of my old life, I see how far I have come and how I may find peace again. It is not easy, it is not fun to go thru therapy or nightmares or night sweats. I slept with the lights on for years. I still carry the scars of those attacks and I won't be the same. But I do now choose to see that October night as the beginning of my journey towards God;s outstretched arms.
My mom has been sober 26 years, I have 6 years. I have a restored loving relationship with my beautiful daughter. I no longer sleep in a car and I actually had a job when I was about a month sober. I eventually went from a God hater to a Youth Minister where I tried to share my past when needed with teens who were on my path. I sponsor other women in the AA program, I share with other survivors to tell them there is Hope and Help and Mercy....
But be forewarned: If you are a child of an alcoholic, you have an 85% chance of being one or marrying one ( better break that cycle before you torture your kids IMO) I hated alcohol and drunks... So I dated them instead. hmmm not a brilliant strategy for a positive life experience. I chose men who were abusive and bullies, it was not what I wanted, but I think I tried to fix what I never could fix as a kid. Please do something to help yourself and your family. If my past can teach you anything, then it has been worth the tell all...
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