Online Only: Domestic violence is a form of torture - Penfield, NY - Penfield Post

Online Only: Domestic violence is a form of torture - Penfield, NY - Penfield Post

Excerpt:
The United States signed CEDAW in 1980 as a landmark agreement affirming principles of fundamental human rights and equality for women and girls. But it has not ratified the treaty, leaving the U.S. outside – along with only Sudan, Iran, Somalia and three Pacific Island nations (Palau, Tonga and Nauru).







CEDAW offers a blueprint for women’s equality in law and policy. In ratifying nations, women have used CEDAW’s terms to push their governments for progress: For example, Morocco and Kenya ended forced marriage and ensured inheritance rights; Bangladesh broadened women’s access to education and vocational training; Nepal and Mexico legislated against sex trafficking and domestic abuse; Afghanistan made rape a crime for the first time.






It is time for the Senate to commit itself fully to women’s human rights by mustering the 67 votes needed to ratify CEDAW. It would strengthen the United States as a global leader in standing up for women and girls, while affirming the proud U.S. tradition of promoting and protecting human rights.






Polls show that the U.S. public strongly supports the values that CEDAW affirmed: education, fairness, equality, an end to violence against women, and protection of basic human rights.






Every day, in every country, gender-based violence sends countless women and girls to hospitals and cemeteries, creating vast physical and emotional misery.





when one thinks about it, this lady is spot on.  Why has not the US signed and ratified this global need?  63 votes is all that is needed?  they give lip service to some parts just to shut people up, but they dont care about the children and women dying.  Its time to wake up you morons on the hill.  Its been 28 years.  someone could have done something by now




I know that I felt shell shocked coming out of my abusive relationship. I had desperately tried to hold on at the end because I had been brainwashed to the point that I believed every word that went with every blow: dirty whore, no one will want you, you are worthless.

It did not start that way. I forgave because " Ilove him" ( the national anthem of most abused women. ) If only I could "fix him" love him better, do better blah blah freaking blah.


you can't. there is nothing you can do to change a wife beater. and the madness that you find yourself sinking into, finally overwhelms you so that you are so utterly convinced you are worthless. One cannot tell friends or family, they will find a way to somehow blame you that you stayed. They just dont understand.


that is why the ones with big mouths ( like me and my friends) are will to share with the world, so that there may be some sort comprehension by the outsiders, the ones blessed enough not to have endured beatings, lockdowns, chokeholds, the words the words that ring loud in our heads well after the bones and bruises have healed.


Contact your congressman, it is easy to do, google your locale and congressman, the emails are usually right on the page.  Ask why isnt this ratified? How many more need to die?

read the above article PLEASE.

Do You Hear the Words coming Out of Your Mouth???

 Scenario:  Person one says something like  "my purse was stolen"   maybe the person even got knocked down... ,  second person  parries with A) Oh my story is even worse!  blah blah blab...
Or B)  Oh that sucks.. I had that happen, I felt like had been raped.

 

 

um NO.

 

First person is just relating info, second person ( Ignoramus) really makes alot of mistakes IMHO, by trying to" outdo" or sympathise, in a passive aggressive pissing match...  The very mention of the word RAPE( out of context, usually used by people who HAVE not been through the joys of having your "sense of self" and safety stripped away literally) demeans , belittles or down plays what REAL victims of this crime have been through.

 

It denies the ones who no longer have a voice.
It makes others  who have survived feel LESS THAN,
Less likely to speak up, to feel worse because
Hey its just like a purse snatching, burglary, meh.

• " You should be over it cus its no big deal, just bad sex". 
• "You shouldnt have dressed that way"
• "You should have known better".
• "You shouldnt have been drinking".
• "You got what you deserved"  
• "You are just a whore"              ad infinitum.

Believe me, I ve heard, with my own lil ears, women be told these things.  It's called secondary wounding when friends, acquaintances, family disbelieve or try to blame the victim because they see the victim as a regular person up til then.  If it could happen to HER then it might happen to THEIR mom or sister or child or wife. So it has to be HER fault.


It takes away from the impact of the word RAPE.  Not burglary, not arson, not getting beat up cus you stole something from your ex... RAPE

Look at it this way:
Burglary:  Messy, broken dishes or things, fingerprint powder, cops not helpful but not hostile either. Shock at first,  but no need to PROVE you were robbed.  They take your word for it. You file an insurance claim, maybe talk it out with friends, remembering this could have been worse.

 

Rape: Disbelief by friends and family is commonplace.  Cops treat you as a suspect  to a certain extent: ( this is if one survives the rape, some dont.) 

you have to PROVE your chastity/virtue.

*8 hour rape kit complete with pubic hair combing standing on a sheet to gather body fluids, hairs and fibers. Be scraped, poked, swabbed, prodded in the very area that was once YOURS.  Your very inner being has been violated,  where a woman births her children, makes love with her partner of HER choice, it is her essence. At least she still has her mind. ( for awhile, and even that rebels eventually)

Now,
IF the guy is caught
If the woman can get courage to press charges. ( especially in DV rape)
IF the DA thinks there is a chance to win the case, you are in for  hours of prepping, lots of backlash even from family members.
then the trial, the questions, the dirty feelings  again.  Facing him down, praying that he does not get out and seek revenge.



    Rape is not about sex or if you were drinking... IT is A CRIME.  Longterm  outcome: suicide attempts, long showers scrubbing the stench and feel away and never getting clean enough.  Therapy and lots of it over the years, maybe medications. Emergency Birth Control, AIDS testing for up to 18 months while you and your partner pick up the shattered pieces of your love life.  Meanwhile, he has to wear a condom just so you don't pass the STD on to him. the atack is forever present between the two of you. Your partner has suffered a loss as well.  Your family, children pay the price for the attack as well ( and you feel guilt about THAT one too.) because they dont have the same mommy around. 

 

No matter how hard you try to get on with life, it is always in your mind.  Sure therapy helps, but a scent, a song, a sound can trigger a flashback even years later; especially if one has not dealt with it strongly and swiftly with therapy early on! Please get help!

 

 

So tell me, how this is just like being raped? 

 

When  we bandy about a word about like Rape, we dishonor the survivors young and old, the dead ones who did not survive their attack,  and the ones who could not stand anymore...to be the walking dead... seeing no hope and taking the exit elevator.   Worse still, we are sending a message to others that there really isn't anything unique about this crime.  How wrong you are.

 

 

   Ever want a special button for the Internet? I picture a buzzer hardwired to my keyboard so I could give certain folks a little jolt when they type something stupidly hurtful..  Be a dumb ass and ZAP! ( just as a reminder, a second thought button so to speak. " are you sure you REALLY want to send this tripe??"   )

 

    I would like to think people think type before they write. I want to be the naive believer I was years ago, however the older I get, the more I see that some people are just needing to look down on people.

 

 Would they say that carp to people's faces??  I doubt they could do it in real life.  Too much chance to have their nose popped...just sayin...

 

 The thoughtless/moralistic/self righteous/ignorant  are more obsessed with the sound of their own thoughts  at times, than they are with care and concern for other's feelings.  JMHO.  Feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think...even if you are one of those idiots that compares tit for tat.

why we need equal rights

How many of us take it for granted that we ARE equal? that women are paid the same? not overlooked for the good ol boy network? it is 2010 after all... more than 234 years since  the colonies began building America, and eventually challenging King George,  these rights still have not emerged. 

Werent they here growing crops, raising children and cooking, harvesting, facing the same wilderness and tibulations?  It has not changed across the centuries. Women still are second class citizens.

Our wilderness is now a concrete jungle, suburban prisons with sometimes abusive men who totally alienates and demeans women. Poor women fare even worse than the middle class because of lack of education, facilities for childcare and so on.  Single, working class moms who are forced into the work force, often cant  afford reliable childcare on the types of salaries they receive ( that are less than their male counterparts). Some widowed, some abandoned, some divorced for whatever reason, are forced to be the sole support of their children.

Click the link below for the full article....

Dont Women have equal rights already?
Don't women have equal rights already -- just like men? Aren't we guaranteed equal rights in the Constitution?


The answer to every single question above is 'no.'
As the following facts about women reveal, women's issues continue to matter because a huge gender gap exists in the U.S. And despite what many may think, we do not lead the world in gender equity for women. In fact, we're not even in the top ten.

Drawn from a cross-section of economic, social, and political concerns, these top 10 facts about women convey the enormity of the gap between men and women, and why focusing on women's issues and drawing attention to them is our best chance of closing the gap:

1.Women earn 78 cents for every dollar a man makes

2.Only 17% of the seats in Congress are held by women.

3.One out of every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

4.One out of every six women will be sexually assaulted and/or raped in her lifetime.

5.Although 48% of law school graduates and 45% of law firm associates are female, women make up only 22% of federal-level and 26% of state-level judgeships.

6.Even in the 10 top paying jobs for women, females earn less than men; only one career -- speech pathology -- pays the same regardless of gender.

7.It's not any better at the top. America's top female CEOs earn, on average, 33 cents for every dollar earned by a male CEO.

8.There's nothing in the U.S. Constitution that guarantees women the same rights as a man. Despite attempts to add an Equal Rights Amendment, there is no guarantee of equal rights for women in any legal document or any piece of legislation.

9.Despite previous attempts to ratify a UN treaty guaranteeing the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women, the U.S. refuses to support an international bill of rights for women signed by nearly every other nation on the planet.

10.The World Economic Forum's 2009 report on the Global Gender Gap ranked 134 countries for gender parity. The U.S. didn't even make the top 10 -- it came in at number 31.

What is the Equal Rights Amendment?

I thought this was a great concise answer to start with.  Many young women take for granted the "equality" we have here in America, which is better than most countries, but still lacking in equality. 

Because we are born  American we are allowed a few more liberties in speaking up, making changes and staying safe ( sort of ) whilst trying to change things.  In a later article I will discuss and give links to rights for women in other countries...especially in Muslim majority countries where honor killing and punishments like canings are the norm.  For now lets focus on America.

Click Here for About.com

Question: What is the Equal Rights Amendment or ERA?


Proposed and passed by Congress but never ratified by the necessary number of states, the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) affirms equal justice under the law to all citizens by guaranteeing freedom from sex discrimination. It was the brainchild of suffragist Alice Paul, founder of the National Women's Party, who wrote the ERA in 1923 as follow-up to the 19th amendment (granting women the right to vote.) Paul believed the ERA was the next necessary step to secure and codify women's rights in the U.S.
 
Answer: First brought before Congress in 1923, the Equal Rights Amendment has been introduced into every session of Congress between 1923 and 1972. In its original form, the ERA advocated for the end of gender bias in 18 short words:


Men and women shall have equal rights throughout the United States and every place subject to its jurisdiction.

Support for the ERA could be found in the party platforms of both the Republicans and the Democrats by the time Paul rewrote the amendment in 1943:

Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Despite nearly 50 years of inaction, a reworked version of the Equal Rights Amendment was finally passed by the Senate and the House of Representatives in 1972 as the proposed 27th amendment to the Constitution. The ERA now included three sections:

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.


Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.



On March 22, 1972, the ERA was sent to the states for further action. For the amendment to become law, three-quarters of the states needed to ratify the ERA within a 7-year time frame. Although reaching the magic number of 38 states initially seemed likely, strong opposition to the ERA surfaced among far-right religious groups, states' rights advocates, businesses, and other traditional organizations. By 1977 only 35 states had ratified the ERA. After much public pressure, Congress extended the deadline for ratification to June 30, 1982. However, the tide had already turned by 1980 when the Republican Party removed support for the ERA from its platform. That same year, the election of Ronald Reagan as president ushered in a significantly more conservative era.

Two weeks after it failed to gain ratification by the necessary 38 states, the ERA was again reintroduced in Congress on July 14, 1982, and continued to be introduced in every session of Congress.


The 7-year time frame is no longer an issue in more recent versions of the ERA. Senator Edward Kennedy (D-Massachusetts) and Representative Carolyn Maloney (D-New York) introduced a deadline-free ERA in the Senate and House respectively in the 110th Congress.

With the 2008 election of Barack Obama as President of the United States, many feel that the time is right for ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. At an awards ceremony sponsored by the National Women's Political Caucus on July 14, 2009, Rep. Carolyn Maloney announced her intent to reintroduce the ERA in Congress on Tuesday, July 21, 2009, telling the assembled audience, "If we can get it to the floor, it can pass."



Sources:


Francis, Roberta W. "The History Behind the Equal Rights Amendment." EqualRightsAmendment.org, retrieved July 20, 2009.

ERA Campaign for updates from 2008 and 2009
excerpt:
 
how you can help
REACH KEY MEMBERS OF CONGRESS WITH YOUR PRO-ERA MESSAGE :




· Contact Rep.Carolyn Maloney (2332 Rayburn HOB, Washington DC 20515-3214, fax 202-225-4709), chief sponsor of the “start-over” Equal Rights Amendment (that she usually calls the Women’s Equality Amendment) resolution in the House of Representatives. Urge her to reintroduce it in March as she has done in the past, and to press forward to win the necessary two-thirds House vote to approve it.



· Contact Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives (Office of the Speaker, H-232, US Capitol, Washington DC 20513-3214, phone 202-225-0100, or leave a message on http://speaker.house.gov/contact). Urge her to facilitate the progress of the ERA/WEA resolution so that it will be passed as soon as possible.



· Contact Representative Robert Andrews (2439 Rayburn HOB, Washington DC 20515, phone 202-225-6501). Urge him to reintroduce his resolution in support of the 3-state strategy, requiring the House of Representatives to take any legislative action necessary to verify the ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment as part of the Constitution when the legislatures of an additional three states ratify it.



· Contact Senator Edward Kennedy (317 Russell Senate Office Bldg., Washington DC 20510, telephone 202-224-4543, or send him a message online at http://kennedy.senate.gov/senator/contact.cfm.) Urge him to reintroduce the ERA/WEA in the Senate in March, as he has done in the past, and press forward to achieve the two-thirds Senate vote needed to to pass it.



· Contact Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (phone 202-224-3542, fax 202-224-7327, 522 Hart Senate Office Bldg., Washington DC 20510). Urge him to facilitate the progress of the ERA/WEA resolution in order to get it passed as soon as possible.



· Note: None of the above congressional resolutions, if and when passed, will incur any costs to the US government or the taxpayers.



HELP THE NOT-YET-RATIFIED STATES:



If you live in, or are particularly interested in, one (or more) of the following not-yet ratified states, contact the state’s ERA leader or organization for guidance as to how best to help their ongoing campaign to achieve their state’s ratification of the ERA while the mood of the country is on our side:



· ARKANSAS, where Rep. Lindsley Smith of the state’s legislature, whose resolution proposing state ratification of the ERA was narrowly defeated in committee during the 2007 session, plans to bring back the resolution during the upcoming 2009 session, saying, “I’ve had legislators who’ve questioned it in the past say, ‘Hey, I’m going to support it this time’….I think everything’s in line to pass it in the 2009 session.” Contact Berta Seitz, BertaSeitz@att.net, phone 479-442-6256.



· FLORIDA, where hard-fought efforts to achieve ratification continue unabated, with high hopes for major progress this year. Contact Sandy Oestreich, SandyJOestreich@cs.com, phone 727-393-0932, website www.RatifyERAflorida.net. Note: The Florida effort is in special need of donations.



· GEORGIA, where there are ongoing efforts to raise awareness of the ERA and build political support for the amendment, contact Idella Moore of 4ERA, info@4ERA/org, phone 678-793-6965, website www.4ERA.org.



· ILLINOIS, where legislator Lou Lang has pre-filed the ERA bill, Hjrca003, in their House of Representatives, and ERA activists are moving ahead vigorously for ERA ratification in this (2009) session. Contact Emily Battin, Emily1@consolidated.net, phone 217-229-3754.



· LOUISIANA, another state where ERA activists have high hopes for ratification soon. Contact Sandra Hufstetler of ERA Louisiana, shufstetler@i-55.com, phone 985-345-3001.



· MISSOURI, where the current effort is focused particularly on working to get pro-ERA women elected to the state legislature, contact Shirley Breeze, chair of the Missouri Women’s