click here for full story
In a nut shell.. this is from the Tenessean news
opening quote:
At least 10 Metro Police officers have been arrested on domestic violence charges in the last five years. Eight of those were allowed to keep their jobs after their arrests, and the remaining two cases are pending. Discipline for improper conduct stemming from those arrests has ranged from a two- to an eight-day suspension. In one of the latest cases, Officer Jeffrey Sells resigned before he could be disciplined for a 2009 arrest.
read on for more disgusting tidbits....
so if these idiots do this at home what do they do to the public? Chances are they are good hiding behind that mask that abusers wear. Charming charismatic, successful, positions of power ( sometimes) or lack of male efficiency ie impotent little men who get into places of power. Why do the psych tests not show this propensity of violence.
Showing posts with label DV education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DV education. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Domestic violence News and events Upcoming
In Ohio Focusing on domestic violence To bring awareness and local access, spearheaded by a couple who lost a daughter to an abusive ex boyfriend.
Center receives grant to combat domestic violence
Mary Kay Foundation makes possible center
RI domestic violence group: Ft. Hood murder resonates
DeBare added, "The apparent murder of Jessie Ann Franklin and the suicide of Sergeant Franklin resonate with the high number of domestic violence deaths we've seen in Rhode Island this year. These repeated tragedies should serve as proof that we must do more -- to provide services, to reach out to those in need, but also to change society's attitudes about abuse. Violence against women is never acceptable."
She said military families are at higher risk for family violence than the general population.
Caution: comments on this site may make one angry!
Rally against domestic violence set for Oct. 1 in Kent
for Washington State folks!
Center receives grant to combat domestic violence
Mary Kay Foundation makes possible center
RI domestic violence group: Ft. Hood murder resonates
DeBare added, "The apparent murder of Jessie Ann Franklin and the suicide of Sergeant Franklin resonate with the high number of domestic violence deaths we've seen in Rhode Island this year. These repeated tragedies should serve as proof that we must do more -- to provide services, to reach out to those in need, but also to change society's attitudes about abuse. Violence against women is never acceptable."
She said military families are at higher risk for family violence than the general population.
Caution: comments on this site may make one angry!
Rally against domestic violence set for Oct. 1 in Kent
for Washington State folks!
I guess it has to be the macho mentality in paramilitary organizations... dunno
worldwide issues with DV .. and this is HUGE news for a third world country to try to combat this!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Want to Help a Battered woman?
Nothing is worse than some well-meaning person saying some unthinking words to a survivor of rape or abuse. It is called secondary abuse and it can be as harmful as the words or event that preciptated it because it comes from someone we love or trust. I know logically why people do it. Because they dont want to look at a "normal" looking woman and think "That could be my wife, sister, mother, daughter! If it could happen to her, my wife, daughter, sister could have it happen to them!" It has to be the victim's fault so that the observer can live with their ignorance and feel that their family is safe. They would never let that sort of thing happen. It had to be your actions or dress or words that caused you to have this happen.
I was asked by a loved one if I hallucinated my rape because the person who did this was a family friend ( a rich one to boot) and he had the nerve to keep calling me at my job and home. My fiance at the time didn't think I was truthful about the assault because I did not jump on the phone and scream at him. I was not ready to do so. But I did eventually say something just to help my fiance feel better. I have realised that did me great harm.
I avoided calls, I finally told someone else and they confronted my rapist who replied " Oh she wanted it" The not being believed was devastating. I know now it was a protection mechanism (now with 12 years of insight and therapy and crap.) It did not stop the pain though. I felt so alone, so out of control of my life. I had proven to myself I did not have good judgement that I would have this happen. Now I began to doubt the event. Maybe I was making a big deal out of it. I was upsetting everyone else. I should just shut up and not make waves. THis is NOT a way of dealing with things IMO. If you are a survivor, get help, there are real caring people out there. Be with people who do not try to "fix " you , but let you make some decisions in your life. It is important to feel like you have some control over something that destroys a sense of self. Be with people who believe you. Acceptance is the most key thing in moving forward in therapy or recovery. And If we deny or minimize what it was, we are asking for later problems. October is DV awareness month. What can you do, you ask?
What to Say (and Not to Say) to a Battered Woman
5 Things to Say to a Victim Reluctant to Leave a Violent Situation
or Returning to a Violent Situation
1.I am afraid for your safety.
2.I am afraid for the safety of your children.
3.It will only get worse.
4.I am here for you when you are ready to leave.
5.You deserve better than this.
Source: Sarah Buel, Materials: Domestic Violence Intervention Services, received at the Prosecuting Batterers Without a Witness Workshop, Tulsa, Okla. (Feb. 1994).
Things to Say (and Not to Say) To a Woman Who's Confided in You
about Domestic Violence, or Who You Suspect is a Victim
DO SAY:
1.You seem upset. What's troubling you?
2.I believe you.
3.I wish I could tell you that this is rare. Many other women have experienced this too.
4.I care about your well–being and I'm concerned for your safety.
5.You're a brave person.
6.If you need me, I am here.
7.I won't tell anyone unless you want me to.
8.Tell me about the first time it happened.
9.It's important that you are safe. Do you have a place to go if you need to leave?
10.In 95% of the cases, if he hits you once, he will hit you again.
11.You need more help than I can give you.
DON'T SAY:
1.What did you do to provoke him?
2.Here's what you should do next.
3.Why don't you and your husband get some counseling.
4.Let's bring your husband in to work this out.
5.I can't believe that!
6.If I were you I wouldn't stay a minute longer.
7.Why don't you go home and work this out?
Source: Jewish Women International, Resource Guide on Domestic Violence, reprinted in Your Words Have Weight, Lilith, Winter 1996, at 39.
I was asked by a loved one if I hallucinated my rape because the person who did this was a family friend ( a rich one to boot) and he had the nerve to keep calling me at my job and home. My fiance at the time didn't think I was truthful about the assault because I did not jump on the phone and scream at him. I was not ready to do so. But I did eventually say something just to help my fiance feel better. I have realised that did me great harm.
I avoided calls, I finally told someone else and they confronted my rapist who replied " Oh she wanted it" The not being believed was devastating. I know now it was a protection mechanism (now with 12 years of insight and therapy and crap.) It did not stop the pain though. I felt so alone, so out of control of my life. I had proven to myself I did not have good judgement that I would have this happen. Now I began to doubt the event. Maybe I was making a big deal out of it. I was upsetting everyone else. I should just shut up and not make waves. THis is NOT a way of dealing with things IMO. If you are a survivor, get help, there are real caring people out there. Be with people who do not try to "fix " you , but let you make some decisions in your life. It is important to feel like you have some control over something that destroys a sense of self. Be with people who believe you. Acceptance is the most key thing in moving forward in therapy or recovery. And If we deny or minimize what it was, we are asking for later problems. October is DV awareness month. What can you do, you ask?
What to Say (and Not to Say) to a Battered Woman
5 Things to Say to a Victim Reluctant to Leave a Violent Situation
or Returning to a Violent Situation
1.I am afraid for your safety.
2.I am afraid for the safety of your children.
3.It will only get worse.
4.I am here for you when you are ready to leave.
5.You deserve better than this.
Source: Sarah Buel, Materials: Domestic Violence Intervention Services, received at the Prosecuting Batterers Without a Witness Workshop, Tulsa, Okla. (Feb. 1994).
Things to Say (and Not to Say) To a Woman Who's Confided in You
about Domestic Violence, or Who You Suspect is a Victim
DO SAY:
1.You seem upset. What's troubling you?
2.I believe you.
3.I wish I could tell you that this is rare. Many other women have experienced this too.
4.I care about your well–being and I'm concerned for your safety.
5.You're a brave person.
6.If you need me, I am here.
7.I won't tell anyone unless you want me to.
8.Tell me about the first time it happened.
9.It's important that you are safe. Do you have a place to go if you need to leave?
10.In 95% of the cases, if he hits you once, he will hit you again.
11.You need more help than I can give you.
DON'T SAY:
1.What did you do to provoke him?
2.Here's what you should do next.
3.Why don't you and your husband get some counseling.
4.Let's bring your husband in to work this out.
5.I can't believe that!
6.If I were you I wouldn't stay a minute longer.
7.Why don't you go home and work this out?
Source: Jewish Women International, Resource Guide on Domestic Violence, reprinted in Your Words Have Weight, Lilith, Winter 1996, at 39.
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