Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Tonight I saw bigotry up close and it was ugly

I live in a large city in America.  I m a white middle aged woman, a Christian ....

 Land of the Free , brave and all that.  Men and women have died for our rights in this country for hundreds of years.  We have the right to speak as we feel ( within parameters set by the courts of the land). We can carry guns. We have the right to worship anyway we wish to do.  We have the freedom and protection from our Bill of Rights. ( against self incrimination, illegal search and seizure and so on.) 

We can burn the flag ( which is sacrilege to me, considering the blood that was shed for that right)  The Klan has the right to their "speech"  Because the same right that protects them, protects me. ( and all Americans).

Anyway, as a jewelry designer, I like other countries ethnic pieces, whether Bedouin, Kuchi, Kundaan, Jhumki, Polki, headdresses, Tikkas etc. I like experimenting with new looks and combos. I am an artist. I have never really fit the "norm" ever since that first mohawk of orange and black in 1983.

Tonight, in the year 2010, I saw the ugliest thing I have ever seen.  I was so in shock until now, I dont know how anyone could be so disgusting.  I ve heard sexist lame, disgusting words that will not be repeated here. Suffice to say it was ignorance from "a Manly Man"

On with the strange trek back into the 1930s.

I like to wear different sorts of clothes, Salwaar Kameez, Embroidered peasant blouses, overalls, jeans and dressy tunics, Kurtis, ball gowns, hats whatever.  Lately I have worn some tunic type clothes over jeans.    Odd that I am discussing what I was wearing... like I had to defend myself back when I got raped .  There are women and men of all ethnicities, races and styles in a city of 5 million.  They have the same rights as we all do

I have had an ignorant, self righteous idiot harass me for the 4th or 5th day, each day, making comments about where is my scratch off dot ( red dot that Hindu women wear)  or where are my camels out back, told me what? you going to wear an Al queda bomb next?  the next day he ranted LOUDLY about all Muslims need to die because they are terrorists.  ( huh??? what an ass.  No religion I know of demands that one kill another person.  )  I have been praying for him (until tonight) because my faith asks me to love my brother.

 I explained  I have friends that are Muslim, do they need to die?   He replied yes because all Muslims are...blah blah blah IDIOT>

My friends over the years, are wonderful and do not wish to harm anyone. I also have Wiccan, Pagan, Jewish and few Pentecostal friends.   There are many paths people follow to find their way to their God. And only God can judge a man's soul/heart IMO.

 tonight this "human" came barrelling up to me again, yelling "are you F ing stupid? are you sick you want that much attention? You are F ing sick.. etc. You're going to DIE!!! You are going to DIE!!! within 18 inches of my face.  All because I was wearing a Tikka and a pair of earrings with a salwaar kameez.  ( the Tikka is a hair piece)

 As any DV survivor would normally do, I shoved him away from me.  Anything to get distance.  All I heard was a man sreaming you are going to die.  My abuser said that sort of crap as he put a gun to my head. 

I did not think; I just reacted in instinct and fear.   Big change for me!! I did not cry, flinch or weenie out.  (To be honest, I was in shock cus it happened so fast.)

  This person has been around me for 13 months. I have worn irritating clothing ( in his eyes) 3-4 times.    Rather than consider me as a person that he has known, with feelings, rights, and knowing my faith in God ( which is not important to the discussion, but I happen to be Christian.  ) this sphincter decided he needed to impart the info in a disgusting , threatening manner.  I thought that the fact he was arrested for domestic violence  last year ( not to me, his family and wife) would have taught him a lesson.   God knows how he feels about people he does not profess to love/care for.

 I will be damned if I will be attacked again.  Yet now I sit here and feel guilty/ashamed  cus I should have not made waves by wearing the wrong thing ( reminscinent of survivor guilt? sound familiar girls?) Where the heck did that come from? why is it that women take the blame onto themselves for others bad behaviours??

and for the record:
Umm, I thought we were friendly with the Pakistani and East Indians? that we were helping in Afghanistan? Fighting the Taliban that shoves their faith down their peoples throats? So why hate people because of the way they dress or believe? it is like comparing all Christians to the bonehead Pastor who wants to burn the Q'uaran this weekend.


  1. Haven't you figured out yet that for every wonderful person in this world, there is at least one, and usually more, ignorant, uneducated jerkhead? There will always be bigots, idiots and nuts, and the worst punishment for them is to be ignored. Turn around and walk the other way and don't even speak to people like that. Your world will be much happier if you pretend they don't exist. Just thank God for the good people in your life.

  2. I do and I will. My response was so instinctive and out of character for me, I actually am glad it happened, Shows the therapy and recovery work is working slowly but surely. ( I usually turn into a mushball and quiver and cry) then end up hating myself for not standing up.

    Irony is that it came right after a group of us had prayed the Lords prayer, All about forgiveness and love and His will... actually had a realisation that there are sick people(spiritually sick) and I am subject to that same soul sickness if I do not watch out.