I have been thinking alot lately about human nature and why some men act the way they do. Some are so kind, and considerate. I know a few who try to live a godly life and are very humble, knowing that their strength comes from God and only Him. Some are still seeking to grow up, ever the frat boy at heart. Filled with a sense of entitlement, crashing through life and people without care about what damage they wreak, turning to look at the emotional wreckage and landscape littered with hostages of their "love".
What makes a man a man? What makes him really an honest man? I don't know because my dad abandoned us when I was little, but it obviously affected me for most of my adult life. Little girls pattern their choices of men on their childhood. By the age of 7, a child's personality, psyche and basis of who they will grow to be, is pretty much set.
If a little boy learns at the hand of his parent to love others and be honorable and deferential but still strong when needed, I think he would be a loving father and husband.
If a boy learns to lie, or to cheat, or to abuse others to attain his needs, he will grow that way too. It becomes hard to feel kindness towards someone like that. I felt that way once about someone who was terrible. Oh he was cute enough and could talk a good talk, but as it grew bad, I would try to "understand", to nuture, to sympathize with his poor childhood or mean Dad. We teach people how to treat us. Oh if I could learn the lesson of walking away when stupid happens. But sometimes Stupid is dressed up and raring to go and I am sure this time it will different.
I have recently met a man who is trying my patience; who is condescending, rude and belittles women. He lies even over the obvious ( I was going to say when unnecessary so that tells you how messed up my magical, magnifying mind can be) I think he is an arrogant jerk who loves to take charge because others are not up to his standards. Maybe he is just compensating. I cannot stand men like that any longer ...My sponsor calls it the You spot It, you Got it syndrome. Usually when someone rubs me wrong it is because there is something unsettled within ME. I can do nothing about other's behavior, I can only change my attitudes and actions. I struggle with that daily. Sometimes moment by moment. It is hard to pray for someone when all you can think is you would like to poke them in the forehead with a fork.
Ever wonder how God sees some of His kids? I wonder how he sees me? Would people act or say the things they do, if God was standing right beside them? It is so hard to see some people as God sees them. To let God give them the mercy and grace they deserve, just like I have received. I dont want them to have mercy. I want to see God "give it to em", to make sure they get the full measure of what they deserve. I have a feeling heaven is going to be filled with people I am going to be surprised to see. Flipping that, I m guessing there will be a whole lot more that never thought I was going to make it either.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
More States Use GPS to Track Abusers
click above for direct tlink to NY Time online article
Imagine the peace of mind to know if your ex abuser is going near you or your child? How many times do men violate restraining orders with impunignity? What if there were true proof of those violations?
Perhaps not as many women would not die after finally breaking free, even finding the courage to finally break free. It is absolutely incredible how many people have callously or ignorantly asked a woman: "Why did you stay?"" why did you let him hit you?""What did you do to make him so mad?"
Unless you have lived through that yourself, it can be mystifying, even maddening to try to come to terms with why she stays. Later, I will try to explain why I think, I stayed. I cannot speak for many women, but I know that it is a demoralizing experience that one suffers the shame silently and alone because she has asked herself that same set of questions. Eventually the abuser separates the woman from everyone and everything that is of support to her. Depression and futility sets in.
If she gathers the courage to leave, she risks so much more than the back account or the financial "security" people assume is why she stayed. She knows the abject terror and absolute certainty that he will find her and kill her. But she has to try at some point. So the next time one is tempted to ask why, think again.
Quote:
Twelve other states have passed similar legislation — most recently, Indiana this week — and about 5,000 domestic abusers are being tracked nationwide, said George Drake, who oversees Colorado’s Electronic Monitoring Resource Center, which gathers data from equipment vendors.
But the path to the system’s widespread use has been bumpy. It is still hard to protect families who live in rural areas or where there are not enough police officers to respond quickly. With the economic downturn, states have cut money for training the police and judges in GPS use, and some places with legislation in place say they cannot afford it.
Imagine the peace of mind to know if your ex abuser is going near you or your child? How many times do men violate restraining orders with impunignity? What if there were true proof of those violations?
Perhaps not as many women would not die after finally breaking free, even finding the courage to finally break free. It is absolutely incredible how many people have callously or ignorantly asked a woman: "Why did you stay?"" why did you let him hit you?""What did you do to make him so mad?"
Unless you have lived through that yourself, it can be mystifying, even maddening to try to come to terms with why she stays. Later, I will try to explain why I think, I stayed. I cannot speak for many women, but I know that it is a demoralizing experience that one suffers the shame silently and alone because she has asked herself that same set of questions. Eventually the abuser separates the woman from everyone and everything that is of support to her. Depression and futility sets in.
If she gathers the courage to leave, she risks so much more than the back account or the financial "security" people assume is why she stayed. She knows the abject terror and absolute certainty that he will find her and kill her. But she has to try at some point. So the next time one is tempted to ask why, think again.
Quote:
Twelve other states have passed similar legislation — most recently, Indiana this week — and about 5,000 domestic abusers are being tracked nationwide, said George Drake, who oversees Colorado’s Electronic Monitoring Resource Center, which gathers data from equipment vendors.
But the path to the system’s widespread use has been bumpy. It is still hard to protect families who live in rural areas or where there are not enough police officers to respond quickly. With the economic downturn, states have cut money for training the police and judges in GPS use, and some places with legislation in place say they cannot afford it.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Back to Education on DV
time yourself in reading this powerful poem by this special woman.....
I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.
------------------------------------
How long did it take you to read the poem?
Please divide the number of seconds it took you to read the poem by 15, then round it up to the next whole number.
Your answer represents the number of women that were abused during the time it took you to read this poem—and—one did not survive.
Help us eradicate the heinous crime of Domestic Violence. Your actions could be the difference that makes the difference.
Please, do something
from the LAPS website... a poem from Paulette Kelley. Contact this site for more assistance with your situation, or perhaps your friend's. You may save a life.
http://www.nineandahalfcouples.com/MADV2no.html
I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.
------------------------------------
How long did it take you to read the poem?
Please divide the number of seconds it took you to read the poem by 15, then round it up to the next whole number.
Your answer represents the number of women that were abused during the time it took you to read this poem—and—one did not survive.
Help us eradicate the heinous crime of Domestic Violence. Your actions could be the difference that makes the difference.
Please, do something
from the LAPS website... a poem from Paulette Kelley. Contact this site for more assistance with your situation, or perhaps your friend's. You may save a life.
http://www.nineandahalfcouples.com/MADV2no.html
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Dear Pay Pal
I have written and called PP many times re this alleged human harassment of myself and other sellers. As her list grows so do the numbers of irate PP customers who have to deal with this woman's abuse of PP to attack our shops. Using PP is supposedly a privelege and has certain TOS ( see earlier posts) here is what I got back from Paypal and my reply.
............ the office of Executive Escalations.Your concerns were recently forwarded to our office. I apologize for the delay in responding to your email. I suggest that you attempt to resolve your issue through any means available to you such as an auction website (if one was used for this transaction), or through a law enforcement agency such as your local police department. You may also file a complaint against this person with the FBI at www.ifccfbi.gov. I again apologize for any inconvenience caused with respect to this matter. If you require clarification on any of the issues raised, please feel free to contact us directly at executiveoffice@paypal.com.
Sincerely,
blah blah
MY REPLY
Sorry for the brevity of the other note...
She has been reported to
FBI
IC3.gov
Harris COunty Sheriff
Her PD
GOogle
Wordpress Shut her blog down which was spreading our personal info
Twitter ( which shut her vile info down)
State of Texas Comptroller CID
She now has been wrtten about in the consumerist. ( subsidary of consumer reports, which got picked up by Oregon Law review, Waco Tribune online and a few other legit consumer info sites. Ullja Kuntze bought others art beads and sold them as her own. Got found out and was removed from etsy, ebay and artfire. She has began a campaign of harassment via reporting ppl to agencies who have to deal with her. Police have shown up at ppls houses, tax auditors, tax agents, health dept agents and so on. http://consumerist.com/5323799/etsy-...got-her-banned
One of the women attacked had a stroke the day after her name and info and threats appeared on a blog.
She is still in the hosiptal. The Ullja has confirmed to her PD that she is doing it, in the name of protecting America. I can give you phone numbers and case numbers of all our complaints filed with agencies.
I have contacted an TX attny and engaged his services on behalf of the group of us ... we will need your assistance in our next step. We are willing to put the our money and MAJOR time into getting her harassment to stop.
She bought from some ONLY to get info such as our addresses or tax info/charges so she may write vile libelous things.
I only ask that you reconsider what you have decided and check the information out further. You have at least one hundred sellers of large amounts that have used paypal for years for both purchases and sales asking you PLEASE. The cumulative amount of transactions from us add up to a lot of money. There are hundreds more that are afraid they are next. Would it help if I got you a petition of sellers asking that this acct be suspended to stop further harassment? I can have it within a few days.
Your terms of service require us to operate in an ethical and proper way to have our priveleges. There is no mistaking her actions when you see her last 3 weeks of purchases, look at the pattern in there.
I implore you to revisit this issue. We were counting on paypal to help protect us in this form of attack. NONE of the entities listed above can do things b/c of state or federal laws have not been broken due to her location ( our cyber stalking laws dont take effect until September). The other ppl in other states have to fly here to file charges. It is outrageous what she has been allowed to do due to the flaws in the systems.
One last thing, before you decide to toss this in a heap. Please look at her website to understand what we are dealing with.
http://www.handmadeartisanfraud.blogspot.com/
Thank you.
cc:counsel
Cindy
............ the office of Executive Escalations.Your concerns were recently forwarded to our office. I apologize for the delay in responding to your email. I suggest that you attempt to resolve your issue through any means available to you such as an auction website (if one was used for this transaction), or through a law enforcement agency such as your local police department. You may also file a complaint against this person with the FBI at www.ifccfbi.gov. I again apologize for any inconvenience caused with respect to this matter. If you require clarification on any of the issues raised, please feel free to contact us directly at executiveoffice@paypal.com.
Sincerely,
blah blah
MY REPLY
Sorry for the brevity of the other note...
She has been reported to
FBI
IC3.gov
Harris COunty Sheriff
Her PD
Wordpress Shut her blog down which was spreading our personal info
Twitter ( which shut her vile info down)
State of Texas Comptroller CID
She now has been wrtten about in the consumerist. ( subsidary of consumer reports, which got picked up by Oregon Law review, Waco Tribune online and a few other legit consumer info sites. Ullja Kuntze bought others art beads and sold them as her own. Got found out and was removed from etsy, ebay and artfire. She has began a campaign of harassment via reporting ppl to agencies who have to deal with her. Police have shown up at ppls houses, tax auditors, tax agents, health dept agents and so on. http://consumerist.com/5323799/etsy-...got-her-banned
One of the women attacked had a stroke the day after her name and info and threats appeared on a blog.
She is still in the hosiptal. The Ullja has confirmed to her PD that she is doing it, in the name of protecting America. I can give you phone numbers and case numbers of all our complaints filed with agencies.
I have contacted an TX attny and engaged his services on behalf of the group of us ... we will need your assistance in our next step. We are willing to put the our money and MAJOR time into getting her harassment to stop.
She bought from some ONLY to get info such as our addresses or tax info/charges so she may write vile libelous things.
I only ask that you reconsider what you have decided and check the information out further. You have at least one hundred sellers of large amounts that have used paypal for years for both purchases and sales asking you PLEASE. The cumulative amount of transactions from us add up to a lot of money. There are hundreds more that are afraid they are next. Would it help if I got you a petition of sellers asking that this acct be suspended to stop further harassment? I can have it within a few days.
Your terms of service require us to operate in an ethical and proper way to have our priveleges. There is no mistaking her actions when you see her last 3 weeks of purchases, look at the pattern in there.
I implore you to revisit this issue. We were counting on paypal to help protect us in this form of attack. NONE of the entities listed above can do things b/c of state or federal laws have not been broken due to her location ( our cyber stalking laws dont take effect until September). The other ppl in other states have to fly here to file charges. It is outrageous what she has been allowed to do due to the flaws in the systems.
One last thing, before you decide to toss this in a heap. Please look at her website to understand what we are dealing with.
http://www.handmadeartisanfraud.blogspot.com/
Thank you.
cc:counsel
Cindy
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