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It has been a horrendous ten days. I have dealt with a lot of emotions and freaking out dreams. I still see certain images, but I have to say, I did not turn into weeniewoman. I only cried that first day or so and only after the cops left.
I was really surprised at how I stood up for myself with people afterwards. I have come to the conclusion (finally) that it is ok to be me, exactly as I am and no one has the right to tell anyone how they should act, think or feel. I have been a doormat for years. I protected myself as best I could, avoided toxic people, allowed for extra healing time, cried and talked with good friends about what was happening.
It truly is by God's grace that I have stayed sober thru this. It was really stupid of that one officer to tell me "I bet a beer would taste great right now" Sheesh... funnyman, hope you dont go telling someone with a month sober something that unthinking!
I wont lie, I struggled with some bizzare thoughts that I had not had since early recovery. Prayer works!