Sunday, November 15, 2009

We invest in what we love the most

This is just my opinion and some ideas that came to me over the last few months. I have heard it said that one invests in what they love. Which stands to reason; I dont shoot to be the best toilet bowl cleaner cus I love it. ( I do love clean toilets though). So what gets me fired up? What do I feel strongly about? enough to gets my dander up or to even encourage me to getting arrested?

I had a list of questions hit me today:
Am I teachable? I have been so full of pride in my life, my way was the only way. Unless you had a better argument, then I would get swayed to your view quickly. ( and have a bad ass resentment over it afterwards) Talk about tiresome and passive aggressive. I want to stay open minded and willing.

Am I living for today, NO. I wish I could say that I was. Iused to live in the past , now I m too much in the future. What is the problem!!>?@?@? I want to be here. now. today. because once those moments are gone, they are gone forever. I like to think of my goals and stop worrying about the might bes and what ifs....( like the possible diagnosis of MS for me. I wanted to be informed and not be scared. One friend told me not to worry until the tests come back, however, I like making plans and goals. Need to figure out how to work around whatever is going on. So am I in today? it always reminds me of the fable of the ant and the grasshopper. I dont want surprises.

So what brings me joy? how can I experience more of that joy? what needs to be tossed out the window to give me that room? I enjoy my craft, my daughter ( who needs to be in college and be left alone a bit by me.) and my serving the Lord. I also appear to want to save trhe world and I need to remember that God doesnt need my help but does need my participation. I pour out so much of my self in other areas and I am running myself ragged trying to do it all.
So how do I make time for the investments? I guess that is the question many of us wrangle with...I just need to find the time for those things. Working on it.

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