Wednesday, September 30, 2009

What were they thinking?

I admit it. In my younger days I was a fashionista snob. I was the snotty chick in the club checking out the other's outfits and wondering if they ever checked the mirror for the rear view. And who wears white shoes with black stockings?? very very chic a la 80's I guess. Yes, I had henhouse ways.. and it probably stemmed from some unnatural need to feel superior to others to make up for my own inadequacies of which I of course, was blind. Or just could be that these chicks had taste for crap.

VPL (visible panty line) is so attractive on a cellulite laden rear, especially in black light when your teeth glow green and your white panties glimmer dimly in the light as if you are some huge firefly on acid. Your sheer pink pants ( just a fashionista tip) do NOT flatter you, especially if you decide that is the night to try out that new Thong and got the tag sticking out of the back of your britches. No one should know that thongs are even sold in size 4 x.

I don't quite understand why some girls did not appreciate my fashion observations made in the privacy of the Ladies Loo. Must be that competitive thing. Or the booze.

It seems things haven't changed much out in the world in the 15 years since I made my last foray into the night club scene...

as evidenced by some of these beauts I found tonight, aftermath from horrid bridesmaid decisions, or rather Bride's blatant and vicious attempts to shame their best and closest friends by making them wear the most ugly piece of clothing AND paying for the privelege of it. (Brides do this to ensure they look the best even if the bride herself is a not-to-distant relative of a Yeti).

If you are a guy reading this blog, good for you to try and improve your feminine side, or are just looking for ways to understand some women's behaviors, yes we do mean things to each other... we just dont laugh about it with the gang and to our friend's face. We wait and get even for some imagined slight from the 4th grade years later. We are patient and quiet good poker faces. Let that be a lesson when dealing with us. We do remember everythng and we will repay it. Unless of course, we actually outgrow our catty ways and realise how much we love and need our girlfriends cus men make sorry shopping companions and crappy shoulders to cry on. " that's terrible honey... get me a beer while you're in there???" will never come from one of our sisters.

just some ramblin from an estrogen starved brain.

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