Sunday, September 27, 2009

Is thisThe Equality We Fought for?

I was urged on by the CNN report about epidemic violence towards women (because the death of Annie Le) so I started poking around the internet this is what I found:

Women are more likely to be assaulted or killed by an intimate partner, especially after they end the relationship. Men do have violent crimes committed against them by female partners but at a rate of a mere fraction of women's rates.

This post came about because I got my MRI report for my brain scan yesterday. It wasn't what I expected. I never think anything bad is going to happen to me, that others get those bad news and trials. The problem with denial is you dont know it when you have it. Regardless, I think some of the injuries I sustained from sticking around a cretin named Andy have caught up with me. Being kicked in the head, or slammed against walls or cement floors apparently causes real damage that can do real damage for life. I am pissed off at myself for helping cause that situation. ( I picked his stupid ass and couldnt get away for years)

How many examples do we see in films and "entertainment" of women as the victims... slasher flicks, violent, aggressive (rape fetish, bondage, kidnapping etc) porn both in print, film and the internet. Glamorizing sexuality and violence, equating the two in some pre adolescent's brain sets a chemical reaction in his brain. Eventually the boys grow into men without many manners or empathy. Somehow the objectification of women has become the norm in our society. IMO, both sides are guilty of the path we are stumbling down. Ultimately, the older ones need to take the kids under our wings and teach them what it means to be a man or a woman. Take a stand. Let the stations or Hollywood know what you think of their choices.

Worse still, some women help perpetuate this disgusting treatment of our women and children ( future women) by dancing naked for men, getting drunk or drugged up so they can tolerate their "jobs". Most of them tell you they are doing it to pay for graduate school. Can't you imagine how proud Or seeking a man to take care of them, rather than getting an education and supporting herself at least until marriage.

It demeans all the effort of the strong women before us. Imagine how hard Margret Sanger or Susan B Anthony fought to break the stereotyping of women, to get us the right to control our reproductive rights, our right to vote? How do we repay it? Buying see thru shirts and hot pants to walk down the mall cus it is our "right" to look like a brainless tramp, reveling in the leers of cretins who cannot fathom what it means to be a man like having a job and being responsible members of society.

It appears to me that we are just walking breeders or sex objects. I was guilty of this as well when I was younger. I developed physically and I liked the way men paid attention to me, I was 'heard' for the first time and I bought into that lie of our fairy tales and Barbie doll life. Men would be my salvation, my refuge. So How would I catch one? keep a man? with my sex appeal, flirting and breasts of course! Who needs to be smart and independent? No wonder I picked idiots and settled for less. The lesson I learned was that I can't expect decent men to pay attention to me because I did not value myself for who I was not for what was between my legs.

We teach men how to treat us. we allow men to get away with bad behavior and excuse it as they are just wired that way, or that we deserve the treatment that we get. But If it were our daughters would we be so passive?


  1. Amen, Brad and I were talking about this very thing last week.

  2. You really did get an enlightened one! I had to do a bit of educating of my knuckdragger

  3. Wow, thanks for sharing. You know, I listen to a radio station for the music in the AM but almost can't do it anymore because of the dj's and just how degrading they/the show has become. I turn it on one day and the dribble between songs has been "hottie of the week" and cleavage Friday and I guess I'm just old and ugly to be offended (would be the approach they take. Only old/fat/ugly chicks take offense. So not true!

    Even when I was "young" I'd stand up to slimy guys who'd leer or make comments - in retrospect I'm lucky they weren't actual violet crazy people or I could have gotten myself in trouble.

    Now,while other moms work at not having to work, I work on my career cause even though I have an AWESOME hubby I will never render myself unable to support myself, and do it well. I see to many who've given up careers to stay home then get divorced and barely make it.

    So hopefully my son, won't be one of the jerks. Hopefully having a strong woman as a mom who could show some cleavage but chooses not to will teach him to respect women.

    I cringe though at what society finds acceptable in prime time entertainment and on radio shows that are not satellite.

    Rant over. See what you started.

  4. It's a sick system that encourages using sex to sell a product or a TV program. With so much of that in our entertainment, it's no wonder girls get so messed up. Thinking about you, cc.

  5. Good to read an article like this--young girls need to be empowered so that they learn a whole new set of ideas and values about who they are and how worthy they are.

  6. You are a fantastic writer! This was a good post.
    You know what one of my favorite things to do is? Being a good example for my child! There are so many messed up women out there. Thanks for sharing this!

  7. thanks. I think the most important job a woman has is being the kind of woman we want our daughters to grow up to be. ( wish I had figured that one out before she grew up too far.... sigh) By God's grace and my mothers German determination, she got some semblence of right and wrong.

  8. Your posts are terrific - thought-provoking and really well written, but I'm torn with this one. I don't believe that because some women are selling their bodies or advertising their bodies, it makes all women fair game for violence or degradation. That type of thinking takes violence back to being OUR fault - she dressed too provocatively, she gave the wrong signals, she asked for it.... We'd have to adopt the chador to hide our bodies completely. Emancipation should give us the right to trot around naked if we want without somebody thinking it is an invitation. I look at the way tweens and teenagers dress to go to school now, and think, "they look like little hookers!" But that doesn't make them fair game. Years ago, you could turn a man on if you showed an ankle.
    Choosing the wrong man isn't our fault. And once your self-esteem has been systematically chewed away, it can take something drastic to make us leave someone who has confused partnership with ownership. Those who have taken their lives back should be incredibly proud of their courage instead of beating themselves over the head for staying so long.
    The best thing we can do is to teach our sons and daughters both self-respect and respect for others and that starts when they're young enough to take responsibility for their own actions.
    This is kind of a disjointed comment and I apologise for its length.

  9. Susan You make excellent points and well written. I totally agree with you.. teach me to write late at night high on AA coffee buzz. heheh

    I have always believed no means no and I am sorry I came off like that. and good for you for having the ovaries to post that!!!

    Women rock.