Alcohol Warnings 2 from www.Serenityfound.org
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Funny and true!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy I found your blog through the Artfire Forum today...this is just super. I have been a friend of Bill W for 22 years and a jewelry artist for 17 years...designing with seed beads has been a HUGE part of my recovery.
ReplyDeleteSylvia! A Fellow Trudger!! yea for us. I only have six years, but I am finally somewhat teachable. hehe Dont know if you read my maudlin birthday praise/rant/cry but I had my BD at my home group a couple of weeks ago. (the post is around here some where. I hope you keep popping back in or even better still, love to see you on facebook. Im at www.facebook.com/cindycloutier
ReplyDelete( I dont really do ads there, I do goofy blowing off steam with pals )
I love this post! Too bad they aren't really putting those on alcohol containers! Of course, it would have to be a pretty big container!!
ReplyDeleteI dont think the drunks would worry too much about reading them. I still smoke and they could put a skull and crossbones on them and I still couldnt quit yet. But I keep trying.
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