Enough depressive stuff for this week...

cool women in History.... and are you going to be one?

I doubt I shall be remembered past two generations if I am lucky. But I m doing my best to serve God and pass the word on. The guy who led Billy Graham to Christ might have only touched one person in his life, but boy, what a difference in the world eh?

So here are some favorites of mine for various reasons ( some sick, some rock solid, some bizarre)
One kick butt woman:
Jael:
We learn here that God intends to use a woman to defeat the enemy of Israel. Barak, the great general, will not get the glory for what occurs, as God has decided to use one of the powerless to defeat one of the powerful.
Judges 4:17-24:
......' But Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, until it went down into the ground he was lying fast asleep from weariness and he died....

Jael proves to be a strong and determined woman. Many times we are told that strength and determination are solely for men, or at best should only be exercised under the direction of a husband. But Jael takes the initiative not only without her husband's consent, but against her husband's wishes. We know Heber would not have appreciated Jael pegging Sisera as Judges 4:17 tells us, "Now Sisera had fled away on foot to the tent of Jael wife of Heber the Kenite; for there was peace between King Jabin of Hazor and the clan of Heber the Kenite." Sisera served Jabin; Heber was at peace with Jabin.

Sisera felt safe going with Jael-he trusted her to act according to what her husband wanted. More he was lulled by her feminity. Some authors have noted the innuendo of Sisera falling between Jael's legs, yet we do not have to stretch our imaginations in that direction to see Jael's feminine wiles. She brings him milk to drink, like a mother with her child. She covers him with a rug, as if "tucking" him in. Yet this motherly figure reaches for a tent stake an executes her enemy. In a very real sense, Jael becomes one of the "assassins" mentioned in the Bible not despite but through her sex.
Could you foloowing the Lord and go against your husband's wishes?

Hypatia.. check this link for details...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypatia_of_Alexandria
but in a nutshell:Hypatia of Alexandria (pronounced /haɪˈpeɪʃə/ in English) (Greek: Ὑπατία; born between AD 350 and 370 – 415) was a Greek[1][2] scholar from Alexandria in Egypt,[3][4] considered the first notable woman in mathematics, who also taught philosophy and astronomy.[5]

She lived in Roman Egypt, and was killed by a Christian mob who blamed her for religious turmoil.[6] Some suggest that her murder marked the end of what is traditionally known as Classical antiquity,[7][8] although others[who?] observe that Hellenistic philosophy continued to flourish until the age of Justinian in the sixth century.[9]

A Neoplatonist philosopher, she belonged to the mathematical tradition of the Academy of Athens represented by Eudoxus of Cnidus;[10] she followed the school of the 3rd century thinker Plotinus, discouraging empirical enquiry and encouraging logical and mathematical studies.[11]

Hypatia was the daughter of Theon, who was her teacher and the last known mathematician associated with the Museum of Alexandria.[12] She traveled to both Athens and Italy to study,[13] before becoming head of the Platonist school at Alexandria in approximately 400 AD .[14] According to the 10th century Byzantine encyclopedia the Suda, she worked as teacher of philosophy, teaching the works of Plato and Aristotle.[15] It is believed that there were both Christians[16] and foreigners[11] among her students.

Although Hypatia was herself a pagan, she was respected by a number of Christians, and later held up by Christian authors as a symbol of virtue.[11] The Suda controversially[17] declared her "the wife of Isidore the Philosopher"[15] but agreed she had remained a virgin.[18] Hypatia rebuffed a suitor by showing him her menstrual rags, claiming they demonstrated that there was "nothing beautiful" about carnal desires.[15]

what a way to rebuff a dude ,... My kind of chick. and soooo smart in an era when
women were treated like chattel. She wore pants, argued and debated and taught men.


MARGARET SANGER
Margaret Sanger was educated as and worked as a nurse. In her work with poor women on the Lower East Side of New York, she was aware of the effects of unplanned and unwelcome pregnancies. Her mother's health had suffered as she bore eleven children. She came to believe in the importance to women's lives and women's health of the availability of birth control, a term which she's credited with inventing.

Google her and read up on this brave undaunting, proponent of women's reproductive rights. What would you be willing to go to jail for? or get exiled? Her husband was fully supportive of her endeavors so Kudos to him as well!!


MEDUSA... chick who got a bad rap and got screwed ( literally) by Athena and the other gods... she was a faithful, beautiful virgin working in Athena's temple. Poisiden came along , lusted and took what he wanted. Ancient crime and injustices still abound today. Athena, being one of the "boys" punished Medusa for being violated ( ie raped) in the temple and turned her into a hideous monster ( Gorgon) who could turn people into stone, just by them seeing her. Hair of snakes and cracked and painful skin were a reminder of what she lost due to some bastard stealing her life, her service and her virginity...

heres a real definition; not my bias:

The myth of Medusa has evolved greatly over the centuries. It is generally agreed that her parents were Phorcys and Ceto, and she had two sisters; the three sisters were collectively known as the Gorgons. Medusa, however, did not start out hideous. She was allegedly quite beautiful, and in many myths is described as a fresh-faced fair maiden, until she was violated by Poseidon in a temple of Athena.

Athena was so angered by Medusa's violation in her temple that she punished Medusa by turning her into a horrifying monster, with hair made from snakes and the ability to turn onlookers into stone. Her name, incidentally, translates as “one who rules over,” or “protectress.” Her face often appears on talismans which are meant to protect people from evil by turning the evil away; such talismans are known as apotropes.

Various versions of Medusa's history state that she was pregnant when killed by Perseus, and perhaps even asleep. In any case, Perseus had help; Hermes and Athena helped him figure out how to kill the infamous Gorgon, and as a payment, Perseus brought Medusa's head to Athena, who used it as an ornament on her shield.

In some stories, Medusa's blood served as the seed of Pegasus, the winged horse god of Greek mythology. Her blood also apparently gave birth to all of the venomous snakes in Africa, and in some tales it was transformed into a powerful medicine with the ability to wake the dead. Medusa lives on, however, as an image of terrible womanhood, and in some parts of the West, angry women are described as Gorgons or Medusas.

Our past is our greatest asset

I have put this post off for months. It appears it is time to do it, although I want to say it in a way that does not sound like whining or a pity party. October is DV awareness month and I reckon my past is as valid as other's and if others can learn from my mistakes and stupid choices, then yay~!

In no way is this a poor pitiful me thing, because it is over and done with ( to a point). I am thinking aloud but also setting to rest some personal demons and taking back control of one part of my life. If this helps someone understand why women make these choices or helps someone face the truth of what they are undergoing, great.

October 3rd has been an anniversary of sorts for me, and not a nice one. For years, I have had a rough time from August to October because of assaults or issues that had happened in that time frame. Yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was time to finally see the good part of what happened. I found God at the bottom of the pit.

I was gang raped whilst pregnant. I lost the baby, I lost my mind and lost my self for years. The perpetrators were known ( one of them ) to me and was a wealthy friend of the family. I couldn't believe it. I refused to face it. I couldn't trust my own judgement. No one would believe that a rich guy like that would do something like that. I convinced myself I was just drunk and a slut. Months later, my now ex fiance, who worked at a hospital, finally asked me what the hell was going on: I was dressing in baggy clothes, wearing no make up, avoiding certain intimacies, withdrawing. I finally "confessed" to which he pointed out that he knew I didnt get drunk on two drinks... and I found out about Rohypnol. Roofies. A cheap pill ( about 5.00) that is illegal here but is easily obtained in Mexico and used for anesthesia in Mexico and other countries.

It also can only be detected in the blood stream for 24 hours, therefore if you suspect you have been drugged, get to the ER immediately and no matter how desperately you want a shower, DONT. Besides, no amount of soap and water is ever going to wash off the way you feel.

Because this guy was wealthy and a fine upstanding man of the community, it added to the confusion, pain and disbelief from family and others. At first I would tell no one of my shame. Later, they would ask me things like surely I had said or done something to bring this on. The creep had the nerve to continue to harass me at work and I would avoid him. I finally told a family member who confronted the jerk, to which he replied "but she wanted it". I had to begin convincing people I did not "hallucinate" it. My fiance thought since I did not tell the guy off and scream at him, that I must have willingly gone along with it. In fact, my ex fiance kept saying "they stole something from him" and kept pushing me for details of what they did to me so he could " take it back" by re enacting it. I was drugged so most of 8 hours of my life are gone. I dont know how many or who or if there is some horrid video out there... nothing. The two images I can remember were bad enough to live with. I dont know which is worse, knowing or imagination.

If any of you readers ever find yourself in a position where your "love " has turned into a selfish bastard, show him the door.... do not do it ease HIS pain at the sake of yours. It is worse than the first time round because your loved one is doing the same crime all over again. It is extremely important to feel safe, loved and secure after a crime like this. A survivor should be allowed to make some decisions about her life and not bullied further. She needs to be given a chance to recover.

I was sent to a psych after I finally had a breakdown, Doc put me on lots of meds and made me into a drooling zombie. I eventually went cold turkey off all of them and had a couple of suicide attempts ( incredibly selfish) The actual rape did not affect me as deeply as the triggering memories of my domestic violence abuse from 15 years earlier. This is shameful to admit, but there was a lot of stuff in my early life that was shaped by my family and the choices I made because of it. I picked bad men out of desperation for love and I settled for "less than" because of my own low self esteem. Healthy people are not attracted to sick folks just FYI :)

After the rape and loss of the baby, I was devastated. I had shoved all my memories of that time period aside to get on with life. I enrolled in school again, got pregnant and worked two jobs and attended college full time, drove myself to the hospital and drove us home afterwards.

I figured I can't change the past by wallowing in it; I had been molested as a kid and had a dad who left and a mom who drank. That is just life. Get on with it was our family motto. Bullshit. If you dont deal with things, eventually it comes back to bite ya on the ass, usually when you least expect it.

I had never really faced the abuse that I suffered at A's hands when I was 21. I remember the last time he tried to kill me, but I had forgotten the beatings so severe that I broke bones in my face, or the one where he kicked me repeatedly until I miscarried and the night he raped me again to "keep me with him forever". The mind is a stronghold to protect oneself until it is time to remember. I had neatly blocked it out for 15 years. Until the flashbacks began after this latest assault.

It has been a long 12 years since that night those men did that to me. And there are many more memories no need to scare you with or dredge up for some one to make fun of somewhere... ( yes there are some folks who like to use dirt to smear others)

The important thing is the epiphany... I had to lose everything, to get to the point of almost death from my extensive drug use ( legal and street) because I wanted never feel or think again. I had a new ex boyfriend who was breaking into my apt and raping me while I was asleep. I would wake up screaming. And no one could stop him. Cops dont like junkies too much. Eventually I would fall asleep with the lights on, knife in one hand and mace in the other. And yet he got me again. The final time he did it, I woke to him choking me until I passed out ( I assume he thought I was dead and that night someone set fire to my apartment.) All my daughter's baby books, pictures and Christmas gifts were destroyed or stolen. The taps were turned on and what wasnt destroyed by fire or smoke, was waterlogged. I truly had to lose everything to begin to hear that still voice of God. I had had so much pride I did not think I needed anyone ever to help me.... pitiful the way drugs affect the brain.

Once I was at the very end of my life, literally, I was so sick I had lost 54 pounds in 3 weeks. I was told I hadnt long to live because my liver had started shutting down. I was homeless because of the fire. I slept in the car or on the run b/c I was so paranoid. I went to Lakewood Church to ask them to help me believe because my daughter was a Christian and I wanted to see her again someday. I did not ask for healing. I had been a God hater most of my life, why would he spare me?

I spent 4.5 hours that day asking the woman counselor about why God allowed such pain, why he didnt hear my cries as a child? If He wanted my love and devotion, couldnt He have found a much better way than this? I was angry and she met me at my disbelief. She also explained other things like free will, but typical alcoholic thinker, when she said I "must have a big message and the devil is trying to distract me" my big ego bought that concept. LOL!
That was six years ago. It has been a long climb out of a pit of despair with God's hlp and guidance. But as I near the top of the cesspool of my old life, I see how far I have come and how I may find peace again. It is not easy, it is not fun to go thru therapy or nightmares or night sweats. I slept with the lights on for years. I still carry the scars of those attacks and I won't be the same. But I do now choose to see that October night as the beginning of my journey towards God;s outstretched arms.

My mom has been sober 26 years, I have 6 years. I have a restored loving relationship with my beautiful daughter. I no longer sleep in a car and I actually had a job when I was about a month sober. I eventually went from a God hater to a Youth Minister where I tried to share my past when needed with teens who were on my path. I sponsor other women in the AA program, I share with other survivors to tell them there is Hope and Help and Mercy....

But be forewarned: If you are a child of an alcoholic, you have an 85% chance of being one or marrying one ( better break that cycle before you torture your kids IMO) I hated alcohol and drunks... So I dated them instead. hmmm not a brilliant strategy for a positive life experience. I chose men who were abusive and bullies, it was not what I wanted, but I think I tried to fix what I never could fix as a kid. Please do something to help yourself and your family. If my past can teach you anything, then it has been worth the tell all...

abuse.net

er, click the title.. great resource for site maangers and users to report abuse ( not spam) but gadgets to tracking IPs if you are getting stalked or threatened.

It is often important to hide one's identity online ( which is next to impossible with places like Zabas.com who not only pull your info, but google even takes pics of your home and cars. showing said creepy ass stalker straight to your door.

Fun.
excerpt:
For users
Abuse.net is NOT a spam reporting service or feedback loop. But if you can identify the origin of an unwanted message, abuse.net can help you get your complaint to the right place.

Use our web look-up page to find the contact addresses for a domain so you can send an abuse report there. Our older mail forwarding service is still available to route reports semi-automatically.
More Info For mail and system managers
If you run a mail system, either for your own users or for clients, you are welcome to contribute contact information for the contact database.

If you've researched the contact info for a domain for which we have no or outdated information, you're welcome to submit that, too.
More Info

Why Make People aware?

click above title to see the chart. This chart represents, from the CDC, the latest stats of violent deaths to females in America. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like for women in less "enlightened countries".

Stories like this one from Florida make me ill, those poor little children paid the price for some "man's" selfish insecurities. Seeing his family as his property, he destroyed their lives and didnt have the cojones to stick around. If someone is so freaking miserablr, take a pork chop necklace swimming and wait for the sharks I would have a lot more respect for a slimy little turd.

....The authorities were searching for a North Naples, Fla., man on Sunday, a day after his wife and their five young children were found dead in their home. Officials and the family of the husband, Mesac Damas, 33, said they believed he was in Haiti.

Detectives found Mr. Damas’s wife, identified as Guerline Damas, 32, and the children dead on Saturday evening in their home in Stratford Place, a gated community. Family members contacted the authorities on Friday, saying they had not heard from Ms. Damas, the Collier County Sheriff’s Office said.

The children were identified as Michzach, 9; Marven, 6; Maven, 5; Megan, 3; and Morgan, 11 months. The two youngest children were girls. The sheriff’s office has classified the deaths as homicides.

The authorities declined to discuss the manner in which the victims had been killed. But Ms. Damas’s older brother, Forends Dieu, 37, told The Naples Daily News on Sunday that a deputy had told him the victims’ throats had been slit.
from the NY Times 9/21/09

California Cuts funding, Shuts 6 Womens DV Shelters

Excerpt from the NYTimes article... click title to read full article



Shelters have also dropped 24-hour services, cut overnight staff at emergency centers and eliminated more comprehensive services like safe visitation centers, where staff members are posted when children are dropped off or picked up as part of custody agreements.

“Our members are struggling to keep their doors open,” said Tara Shabazz, the executive director of the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, which represents the state’s nonprofit shelters.

In July, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger eliminated the remaining financing for the state’s Domestic Violence Program — some $16 million — in the face of a lingering budget gap of nearly $500 million. Legislators had closed most, but not all, of a $24 billion deficit.

Mr. Schwarzenegger has said he regretted the decision but had no choice. “The governor understands how difficult these cuts are,” said Aaron McLear, a spokesman. “But he can’t promise money we don’t have.”

Other states, including New Jersey and Illinois, have struggled to find ways to keep domestic violence centers open, but national advocacy groups say no state has gone as far as California in “zeroing out” domestic violence money.

“California is by far the most extreme and shocking example,” said Sue Else, the president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, a group in Washington. “We’re appalled that this is the way that the governor would seek to balance the budget.”

The cuts to the program, which is part of the State Department of Public Health, means that the 94 nonprofit agencies charged with running the state’s domestic violence shelters have lost about $200,000 each. For most, that amounts to more than 40 percent of their anticipated annual financing, although agencies have received money for other shelter services from the federal stimulus package and the state’s emergency management agency.

Erik Sternad, the executive director of Interface Children Family Services in Ventura County, near Los Angeles, said his organization had initially believed that it would lose all five of its transitional shelters — usually multibedroom homes in suburban areas — where about three dozen women and children could live for up to 18 months. In the end, one was sold, one was transformed into youth services, and the final three were eventually saved by private donations. But of those, two have money assured only through June 30, the end of the fiscal year.

“We know that this money is going to run out about nine months from now,” Mr. Sternad said.

The pain has been most acute in remote areas. The Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition in Grass Valley, northeast of Sacramento, is the only such facility in that area. The coalition closed its 12-bed shelter, leaving five families in the lurch.

Niko Johnson, the coalition’s executive director, said her staff managed to find places for those families to stay, but has since had to turn away 14 women with 8 children.

“We had to give a voucher for a motel,” she said. “When women get to that point and are ready to make a change, it’s hard to say we can give you three nights in a motel. They ask, ‘What next?’ ”

At the same time, Ms. Else, of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, said the impact of a sour economy, including job losses and foreclosures, added to the need for services.

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Pitiful... Words fail me at times like this when we have such stupid ass spending that is so out of control, bailing out Insurance and banking concerns and throwing women and children on the streets or sending them back to the abuse they left.